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Stop Sending Mixed Messages

Everyone wants to be seen as capable and confident. But Author, Vikki Carrel says that can't happen if you send out mixed messages.

She borrows strategies from the fashion world to help you stop second guessing yourself and start feeling more self-assured.

Empowerment strategies learned from the world of fashion.

Building your personal brilliance is similar to the formation of a natural diamond; it takes time and is a life-long process.

1. The building process begins with - Perception

Perception is your cognitive interpretation of incoming messages and the world around you‚"¶ it's about observations, information in a visual form, verbal and nonverbal messages.

What do you see?

-The white vase in the center of the picture or the two profiles of a woman's face on the outer edges?

What makes this picture ambiguous? It ambiguous because it is unclear, it is sending two visual messages. Perception may be different for each of you but it is your reality and is powerful.

2. The Little Black Dress

Most fashion shows have a little black dress in the line-up.

What are your perceptions of the little black dress? Do you see it as a wardrobe essential, as versatile, season less, flattering and slimming or as overdone and over-rated? Do you have a little black dress in closet? Do you wear it?

The little black dress can help you understand ambiguous perceptions. Some of you may see it as a wardrobe essential and others may see it as over-rated. The little black dress sends more than one message to the consumer - this makes it ambiguous.

What are your perceptions of yourself and are you sending mixed messages to others?

If your self-perceptions are unclear, ambiguous then it's time for you to adjust your perceptions about yourself. This process begins with looking closely at words - the messages you send to yourself about yourself.

Example: My neighbor expressed to me that she is frustrated because she feels that people don't see her as capable. I can understand why she feels this way - she sends mixed messages to her friends and family. Her desire is to appear capable yet she is often late for meetings, forgets appointments and is always apologizing for being disorganized. If she wants to appear capable she must stop sending ambiguous messages and make certain lifestyle changes.

It is important to appraise your personal perceptions daily and make adjustments - this is where change begins and mixed messages end.

3. Recycle Trends

The fashion industry is masterful at recycling trends. If you loved a certain style 20 years ago - you may find it on the store racks today.

Do you resist change due to the following reasons or feelings?

· fear of the unknown

· you view change as frustrating, overwhelming, inconvenient

¬∑ the ‚"ėbuy in' isn't high enough - change isn't worth your time or energy because the outcome is not important to you or a priority

· you lack the time and resources necessary to make successful change

· limited self-control and discipline

It is important to recognize that change is a constant in life. Some change you choose and other times change is thrown at you like a tidal-wave - it's not a choice. It's about being adaptable.

Example: During a fashion show that I choreographed for GQ Magazine - a model was ready to step onto the runway when the heel of her left shoe broke. There was no time to change shoes. This caused the model to make change - to act and not react. The model quickly removed both shoes and carried them onto the runway as a prop. She did not allow change to paralyze her. She chose to act and not react. She was ADAPTABLE!! As she sashayed down the runway the audience had no idea her left shoe was broken. She made change without compromising quality!

3. Identify Your Signature Piece

Every fashion show I produced for Ralph Lauren contained a navy blue blazer in the line-up. That is his signature piece. Ralph Lauren is known for the navy blazer.

What is your signature piece‚"¶your ‚"ėgo to' talent, skill?

Are you a good listener, a loyal friend, productive under pressure, an optimist or an effective communicator?

To begin the process of identifying your signature piece it is important to not be blind to your assets. Identify one key asset about yourself and write it down. Post it on your bathroom mirror as a reminder of your signature piece.

4. Brilliance is in the accessories

How are you accessorizing yourself?

1. Accept compliments and don't dismiss positive feedback about yourself and your contributions.

2. Involve yourself in a power party not a pity party.

3. Have passion and be persistent. Choose what you love and love what you choose.

4. Learn from failure. View failure as an opportunity to learn NOT as an excuse to quit.

Today, identify one change that you will make to build your brilliance!!

You can find more about Vikki at her website

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