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Five Things Women Should Learn to Let Go Of

Five Things Women Should Learn to Let Go Of

Sometimes the most powerful trap to get caught in is your own belief system. We all hang on to ideas, or ways of thinking, that just might be holding us down. So what if you could shake loose from your own rules and simplify?

Relationship Coach Matt Townsend has identified five things women should just let go of.


1. Let go of the belief that you can have everything!

Life is about choices and your choices determine both the benefits you reap and consequences you suffer. All choices have a cost and those costs are determined not by what you want them to be, but instead by the principle you're choosing to live by. As a child of divorced parents my mom had to work to support the family. The reality was she didn't want to work, she didn't love to work and yet we needed her to work. The benefit was that we had food on the table and clothes to wear to school. The consequence was the fact that she always came home exhausted and ready to go to bed with most of her best energy spent at work. Some other consequences were that we were left unattended, less of our homework got done, and more TV was watched. The reality of life is that there really is only so much to go around and instead of thinking you can have everything, it might be better to get very clear about the top three things that matter most and work hard to just obtain those. Once you have the top three things in your life then focus on obtaining everything else. Be sure as you begin to move down your list that you don't sacrifice any of your top three things for the eighth thing on your list just because you don't already have it. One thing that made my mother's life easier was that she knew the top three things she wanted for her kids. She wanted us healthy, happy and wise, everything else was just extra!

2. Let go of your need to have things done your way!

First of all, let's get it clear, no child or husband can probably do what you are asking them to do half as good as you can! So unless you want us to rebel against you, please just let us do it our way. If we make a mess while washing the dishes, it will be our mess. As long as the dishes get reasonably clean, in a reasonable time frame, you win and you didn't have to do them. Remember that people are much more inclined to do things if they can do it their way. The minute you prescribe the way to do it, you have probably lost their motivation which you desperately need. You must know that for your husband and kids, it really would be easier to keep making mistakes if they know you'll immediately step in and get it done "the right way" or "your way." So don't let them off so easy and let them do it their way so you can play!

3. Let go of the belief that others don't help because they don't care

There are many reasons why your spouse and children don't help more around the house and most of them have nothing to do with the fact that they don't care. Let me give you a few‚"¶.

· They are more okay with a mess than you are.

· They are always told how messy they are and they believe it.

· You've never asked.

· They don't know how to do the work you need done.

· They're insecure, lazy, unprepared, uneducated, distracted, depressed, overwhelmed in life, exhausted or ADD.

In reality, there are dozens of reasons why people don't do more to help around the house and only one of them is that that don't care about you. In my experience, they care immensely; they just have to feel like you understand where they're coming from before they'll try to understand where you're coming from. When you act like someone doesn't care about you or your needs, eventually they actually start to not care. That's a problem that is much harder to fix than the other more simple reasons listed above.

4. Let go of the thought that saying "No" to others makes you selfish or uncaring

What this world needs is a lot more "No's" and a lot fewer "Yes's". Just think of how many families are in incredible debt right now because they just can't say "No" to the marketing that bombards them. Imagine how many people are suffering with obesity, addictions and a lack of focus just to name a few because they never gained the discipline that comes from the ability to say "No." Saying "No" is a major character builder. It is not a sign of weakness or selfishness as much as it is a subtle nod toward what truly matters most in your life. By shutting the door with a "No" when your child asks you to buy them a toy at the store, you might be opening a new door for them to learn how to work for the toy themselves. Your "No's" are much less about you being selfish and much more about you knowing what your "Yes's" are.

5. Let go of the Jones' and others that you're trying so hard to keep up with

Not everything about your neighbors is really that appealing. Trust me, as someone who delves into the very private details of people's lives every day, no one is complete, no one has a closet free from skeletons or weaknesses. Sure, your neighbors or family members seem to have a lot of toys, clothes and fun things on the outside, but most of the time they're probably wishing they had some of the simplicity and intangible things that you possess. Nothing is more exhausting than trying to keep up on the gerbil wheel of life and nothing will kill your will to keep going more than trying to stay ahead of an illusion that will never come to fruition. The simple truth is the minute we no longer are trying to get ahead or at least keep up to everyone else, we will start to be grateful for the blessings and good things that we do have. Now is the time to find some peace in your life by giving up the chase and losing the illusive "American Dream;" a dream which now consists of hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt, the need to work until we're 70 years old and the feeling of being too exhausted to spend real quality time with our family.


Find and "like" Matt Townsend on Facebook and you will be entered to win a FREE admission to Matt's Date Night on September 23, 2011!

For more information about Matt's workshops, visit www.matttownsend.com.

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