Happily ever after takes a little work.
From the time we’re old enough to read storybooks, we hear about the dream of a happily ever after.
Studio 5 Relationship Contributor Dr. Matt Townsend says he’s seeing more and more couples in a true crisis of love, wondering if they really can make the dream of a “forever” really work. He says the problem is most people have a misunderstanding of what love really is.
Find more on Matt’s February 12 Valentine’s Date Night on his website, www.matttownsend.com.
4 Commitments to Create Lasting Love in Your Marriage
Reorder Your Love to One That Lasts
He says there are three parts to a lasting love; we prioritize the equation of love in this order: 1. Chemistry, 2 Commitment, 3 Closeness. Our bodies are designed to have the chemistry fade. This order is destined to fail, because chemistry will never be enough to stabilize the relationship as it will fluctuate with every child, illness, or interruption. If we want to find lasting love you say we need to reorder these. Most enduring couples actually prioritize their marriage differently and create what’s called a companionate love.
Place Your Spouse as Your Best Friend
It’s important to still have others friends outside of marriage, but your spouse needs to be your best friend. Matt challenges everyone to first, focus on companionship, being good friends. And then chemistry will follow.
Deepen Your Emotional Intimacy and Attachment
Do this by sharing more of our vulnerable moments, our insecurities, our fears, what we like and don’t like. “The minute I can go emotionally intimate with somebody, I’m much more likely to have a much more profound physical intimacy.”
Grow the Passion in Your Love
All you need to grow chemistry with your partner is do things that energize you. Go try new things together, that will ignite your chemistry and then passion will grow.