Share Your Life: Holiday Hosting

Etiquette Expert Ellen Reddick shares tips to improve your skills as a host and make a cocktail party memorable.

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SET THE MOOD

Be prepared with a diversity of drinks (both alcoholic and non-alcoholic) and hors d’oeuvres or appetizers. Re-arrange furniture so that your guests will not feel cramped, but everyone has a place they can sit down without being isolated. Dim lighting, candles and fresh flowers can create a warm atmosphere.

DRESS APPROPRIATELY

You are the first person your guests will see, so it’s important to make a good first impression. It doesn’t matter how nicely the party is decorated if you look disheveled or drab. If you indicated on the invitations that it would be a formal event, you should dress up; in fact, you’re better off being overdressed than underdressed.

WELCOME YOUR GUESTS

Greet your guests at the door as they arrive and welcome them in. Offer to take their coats and be prepared with a room set aside to store coats during the party. Tell them where you are putting their coats (and any other accessories, like purses or umbrellas) so if they need something, they know where to look. Send them through to the party room while you put their coats away.

SERVE THE DRINKS

As the host, you should always make sure everyone has a drink in their hand. Keep an eye on what everyone is drinking, and walk around with a bottle or a jug of water to replenish their drinks. It’s best to fill the glasses up to two thirds. As you’re doing this, make sure that no one drinks too much. If you spot someone drinking too quickly, fill their glass half way or less. Likewise, if you see someone is obviously sipping their drink very slowly, perhaps because they don’t prefer drinking too much, don’t be overly eager to give them more.

INTRODUCE PEOPLE

Ideally, your guests will mingle freely without prompting, but more often than not, cliques can form over the course of the evening, with people who already know each other well sticking close together and not engaging others at the party. This can dampen the party spirit, so as the host, look for ways to mix things up a bit. Find two people who you would like to meet each other, and introduce them. Bring up a topic that you know they are both interested in (“Chris, isn’t your son applying to colleges? Marly here has a sister who’s an admissions officer at Yale. Maybe she can give you some tips!”), or relate one person’s experience to the other (“Joan, did you know that Harold climbed Mount Everest last year?). Get the conversation rolling and then move on to mind your other guests.

ASK FOR HELP

One word separates the confident host from the person who swears she’ll never entertain again as long as she lives: Help. And the larger your party, the more help you’ll need. A bartender is particularly useful. Contact the placement office of your local college to find students who have bartending experience yet are much cheaper than professionals. Local colleges and high schools are also good sources for inexpensive waiters or even helpers to clean up after the party’s over.

But if you really want to save money, the number one source of your household help should be…your household. As long as they’ve reached coat-carrying age, your children can — and should — pitch in. In fact, most kids love being more than just decorative accessories at their parents’ parties. You may be pleasantly surprised to discover how good your children feel about helping to clear away glasses, passing hors d’oeuvres and, yes, getting people’s coats for them.

In addition, don’t hesitate to look beyond your doors to relatives, close friends and coworkers. As long as you’re gracious about it and ask in advance, most people are only too delighted to help out at parties. It’s an opportunity for them to show off their talents and resourcefulness, and you can couple your request with a promise to reciprocate at their next big event.

ENJOY THE PARTY!

Your appearance and your demeanor will set the tone of the party, so you must be presentable and sociable from beginning to end. If they see you look tired and stressed, they might feel as if they are burdens. But if you’re lighthearted, relaxed, and talkative, it’ll help them loosen up and feel at ease. With good planning and preparation, you should have plenty of opportunity to relax and enjoy the party.

However — do not forget any guest sitting alone.
The art to being a perfect host is in the attention to detail. Every so often look around the room to make sure everyone feels welcomed and comfortable. Don’t get so relaxed that you stop paying attention to your guests!

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Ellen Reddick is the co-founder of Impact Factory Utah and Elite Business Communications, Inc. Salt Lake City based companies specializing in training, consulting and coaching in business professionalism and communications.