Feel lighter when you clean out the emotional clutter.
When you hear “spring cleaning,” you might think of cluttered closets and kitchen drawers, but there’s another kind of clutter that accumulates in our emotional spaces.
Studio 5 Marriage & Family Contributor Dr. Liz Hale shared how to spring clean the mental mess, making room to feel lighter, brighter, and more in control.
The Mess of Stress
Dr. Liz explained that emotional clutter isn’t just about the big-ticket stress items like illness, natural disasters, or the death of a loved one. Most of our stress comes from small, everyday events that create a mess by clogging up our minds with anxiety, worry, depression, irritability, and anger. The emotional closet gets stuffed with negative thinking, pessimism, and cynicism caused by these stress aftereffects. Stress is powerful and affects the brain, body, and spirit.
Psychological Spring Cleaning
Psychological spring cleaning means cleaning out the emotional closets from the mess of stress. Visualize a huge black garbage bag and fill it with outdated, useless, stressful emotions by asking these powerful questions:
Does This Still Fit?
Just like we ask ourselves if certain clothes still fit, we should ask if certain emotions still fit. Dr. Liz shared a story about a client who was bullied as a kid and carried that burden into adulthood. He realized it was time for an emotional purge. Now, he tells his story differently, focusing on how those experiences shaped him positively. Certain emotions, like guilt or resentment, may have served their purpose, but no longer fit. Thank them for their attention and send them into the big black bag to make room for healthier and happier emotions.
When Was the First Time I Wore This?
We often ask ourselves when we last wore a piece of clothing. Emotionally, we should ask when we first started feeling a certain way and if it’s still relevant. Dr. Liz mentioned how childhood experiences can affect us in adulthood, like feeling left out at work because of past family dynamics. She suggested asking ourselves, “How old am I right now?” to gain perspective. Dress the part of the life you want to live and act your age.
Do I Like How I Look in This?
Just as we consider if we like how we look in certain clothes, we should think about how we feel in certain emotions. Dr. Liz shared a story about Holly Stone teaching her daughter that “pretty” is about how we act and treat others, not just how we look. This analogy applies to emotions too—do we like how we feel in them? If not, it’s time to do something that lightens and brightens your heart, like taking a brisk walk, making an apology, or reading something uplifting.
What Can I Eliminate?
Dr. Liz emphasized the importance of eliminating emotional clutter, comparing it to cleaning out a utensil drawer. She noted that being “crazy busy” isn’t a badge of honor, but a sign that we need to prioritize and get back in order. Healthy people can say “I can’t,” and focus on what’s most important. Tidy up by removing things from your emotional utensil drawer or off your to-do list.
Spring cleaning isn’t just for our physical spaces; it’s crucial for our emotional well-being too. By asking ourselves these questions and letting go of what no longer fits, we can create a more satisfying and balanced life. Dr. Liz reminded us that it’s okay to prioritize our mental health and make room for positivity. This is not a one-and-done task—long-term maintenance is key!
The 49th Annual BYU Women’s Conference is coming up, and Dr. Liz will be speaking on Eliminating Anger on Thursday evening in the Music Hall. This year, the conference includes evening sessions to fit all types of busy schedules. Register online at womensconference.byu.edu and choose from single days to single evenings or any combination that works for you.
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