These are some questions you should ask the other person after an argument.
Arguments are a natural part of any relationship, but what truly defines your bond is how you handle the moments that follow.
Studio 5 Parenting Contributor Heather Johnson emphasized, “No relationship is perfect. It will not be seamless over the decades that we have that relationship.” But you can maintain and strengthen relationships if you know how to repair.
Focus on Connection, Not Protection
After an argument, it’s crucial to prioritize connection over self-protection. Heather advised, “When we’re hurt, we have an argument or a fight. The first thing we want to do is protect ourselves. Instead, we’ve got to ask, ‘how can I connect?'”
Don’t Delay Reconnecting
The longer you wait to address the aftermath of an argument, the more disconnected you may feel. Heather pointed out, “The longer we delay, the more opportunity our minds and the other person’s minds have to think all the uncomfortable things.”
Take Responsibility
Taking responsibility is key to rebuilding trust. Heather explained, “We don’t trust people who don’t take responsibility. We want to say we’re sorry. We want to go back to the space and take responsibility.”
Ask the Right Questions
To foster reconnection, ask meaningful questions:
- “What is the main thing that upsets you?”
- “What can I do different next time?”
- “What is it that you are actually trying to tell me?”
- “What do you need right now for us to reconnect?”
Arguments are inevitable, but they don’t have to weaken your relationship.
To contact Heather for counseling, email blog.familyvolley@gmail.com, or visit www.familyvolley.blogspot.com.
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