Mental barriers might be the only thing between you and success.
Whether you’re chasing a dream, making a bold move, or simply stepping outside your comfort zone… the biggest obstacle isn’t out there, it’s in you.
Speaker Ashlee Stratton broke down the biggest barriers that are holding you back from reaching your goals, and gave a powerful method to push past them.
Breaking Down Mental Barriers
Ashlee has worked with women from all walks of life, and she recently interviewed about a hundred women with big, ambitious goals. She found something surprising. “It all started after I had my fourth baby and saw other women pursuing their goals. I wondered if there was a place for me and felt a little bit of imposter syndrome,” she shared. Through her interviews, she discovered that many women faced similar mental barriers. It was a plot twist she didn’t expect.
Embracing Fear
One of the most powerful concepts Ashlee talked about is allowing fear. “Most people, when they have fear, they reject it. They’re like, ‘Oh, I shouldn’t feel fear, I shouldn’t feel anxious,'” she explained.
Kobe Bryant, one of the greatest basketball players of our time, faced a lot of fear and anxiety early in his career. When he was a young player, he would be consumed with fear to the point where he’d say to himself, “I shouldn’t feel anxious, I shouldn’t feel stressed.” But the more he tried to reject these feelings, the more they grew.
Kobe learned a powerful lesson: instead of fighting the fear, he allowed it to be there. He acknowledged his feelings by saying, “I am feeling anxious, I am feeling scared.” By doing this, he was able to look at his fear for what it was—nothing more than his imagination. This shift in perspective helped him manage his anxiety and perform better on the court.
Ashlee herself experienced this with vertigo. She learned that acknowledging and allowing the fear helped her manage it better. “When we fight any negative feeling, whether it’s fear, vertigo, or imposter syndrome, we’re telling our brains it’s an important feeling. So our brains recreate it, and recreate it,” she said.
Shifting Your Focus
Once you’ve acknowledged your fear, the next step is to shift your attention. Ashlee faced significant nerves during her piano performances. In eighth grade, her hands shook so much during a competition that she bombed the performance. This happened again in front of 500 people, leaving her feeling defeated.
Determined to overcome this, Ashlee chose piano as her talent for the Miss Utah pageant in 2009. She confided in her piano teacher about her shaky hands. Her teacher suggested focusing on “strong, confident hands” instead of “shaking hands.” Ashlee practiced this mindset, reading a card with the positive phrase repeatedly.
When the pageant day arrived, Ashlee performed flawlessly, playing the most difficult piece of her life. By shifting her attention from fear to confidence, she overcame her nerves and succeeded. This shift in attention helped her perform flawlessly in a piano competition. It’s all about redirecting your focus to a positive outcome.
Taking Immediate Action
Ashlee is a big believer in the power of immediate action. “All of the confidence studies out there say that the quickest way to build confidence is to take action, and not only just take action, but take immediate action,” she emphasized.
The Power of Accountability
One of the most effective ways to achieve your goals is by having an accountability appointment. “We are 95 percent more likely to achieve our goal if we use an accountability appointment,” Ashlee noted. It’s not just about having an accountability partner, but setting a specific time to check in with someone who will hold you accountable. This regular check-in can make a huge difference in staying on track.
Practice and Persistence
Ashlee reminded that overcoming mental barriers is a practice. “Sometimes we jump into that first action and it does not go well. But practicing is part of the process, and we have to commit to the time and the practice it takes together,” she said. She encourages persistence and commitment to the journey, knowing that it’s not always a straight line to success.
Find more advice from Ashlee on Instagram, @realashleestratton, or her website, ashleestratton.com.
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