Spirituality looks different for everyone.
Parenting is never one-size-fits-all—and neither is spirituality. Just as each child has a unique personality, their spiritual journey is equally personal.
Kristen Walker Smith, educator and podcast host, encourages parents to embrace this individuality when teaching faith at home.
The What, Why, and How of Faith
Kristen explained that while the “what” and “why” of religious practice may remain consistent, the “how” should be flexible. “The what is, we read scriptures together every single night. The why behind that is because we believe in God and we believe those are his words,” she said. But the method—how we engage with those scriptures—can and should evolve to meet our children where they are.
Adapting the “How” for Each Child
Kristen shares her own experience of adjusting scripture study to fit her kids’ needs: “We figured out a way to get it down to one minute a day, and we made it super personal and super applicable to them right now,” she explained. This shift from a rigid structure to a more personalized approach helped her children connect more meaningfully with their faith.
Learning Styles and Spirituality
Children learn differently, and that applies to spiritual learning too. Some may prefer reading, others visuals or interactive media. “Some kids are going to want to pull out a book… other kids love a good screen, and so you watch a Bible video with them instead,” Kristen explained. Recognizing and respecting these differences can make spiritual teaching more effective and enjoyable.
The Role of Effort and Intention
Personalizing spiritual teaching takes effort, but it’s worth it. “It does take a little bit of extra… intention on the part of the parent to look at that child and say, ‘how might I cater this message?’” Kristen mentioned. Paying attention to when a child is engaged or asking questions can provide valuable clues about what resonates with them.
Independence vs. Help
As children grow, their desire for independence in spiritual matters may increase. “One of your kids might be like, ‘Mom, let’s study scriptures at the same time.’ And your other kid might be like, ‘Talk to the hand,’” Kristen noted. Respecting each child’s approach fosters a healthier, more authentic spiritual relationship.
It’s Not About How It Looks—It’s About How It Feels
Perhaps the most powerful takeaway is this: “How it looks really doesn’t matter in the end. It’s how it feels that matters the most,” Kristen emphasized. Creating a spiritual environment that feels loving and safe is more important than following a perfect routine.
A Message of Hope for Parents
For parents whose children may have stepped away from faith, Kristen offered this encouragement: “Be the person they want to come home to. Lecturing isn’t going to get them to change anything… be that hope and be that light and be that love.”
Find more from Kristen at kristenwalkersmith.com.
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