Slowing down can make you feel more fulfilled.
In today’s fast-paced world, we often feel the pressure to keep up, to hustle, and to constantly strive for more. But what if the key to a more fulfilling life isn’t in doing more—but in doing less more intentionally?
Author and speaker Connie Sokol invited us to consider a different path: living a softer life.
This isn’t about giving up or checking out. It’s about tuning in—slowing down, being present, and allowing life to unfold with grace and purpose. Here’s how Connie discovered this approach and how you can begin to embrace it too.
Why “Try Softer” Instead of “Try Harder”?
Connie’s journey toward a softer life began with a simple realization: she was living in high gear all the time. Like many of us, she found herself constantly pushing, even in the middle of an ordinary day. The intensity wasn’t always necessary—it had just become a habit.
So, she made a small but powerful change. She added a daily reminder to her phone: “I am joyful, slower, and softer.” This mantra became a touchstone, helping her shift from a mindset of urgency to one of intentionality. The results were profound.
Let It Unfold: Trusting the Process
One of the core principles of living softer is learning to let things unfold. In a culture that prizes productivity and constant motion, this can feel counterintuitive. But Connie found that when she stopped trying to force outcomes and instead allowed space for things to develop naturally, better results followed.
She shared a story about her leadership initiative for young women, which initially gained momentum but then stalled unexpectedly. Instead of panicking or pushing harder, she paused—and trusted. Soon after, a single Zoom call led to a breakthrough connection that would have taken months to cultivate through traditional means. “You don’t have to push everything to get a result. Let it unfold—and it will,” Connie noted.
Savor the Connection
In our rush to get things done, we often treat relationships as transactions. Connie challenged us to savor our connections—not for what they can give us, but for the joy they bring.
She described how three simple meals with friends, scheduled over three days, felt almost indulgent. But those moments of connection were deeply nourishing—and unexpectedly fruitful. One lunch even led to two new opportunities she hadn’t been seeking. “It was just for joy,” Connie said.
Slow Your Pace—Literally
Living softer also means slowing down physically. Connie, a naturally fast walker and high-energy person, began to consciously slow her movements—walking, shopping, talking, even listening.
This shift extended to her fitness routine. She moved away from high-intensity workouts, which can spike cortisol and lead to burnout, and embraced Pilates reformer classes. What started as a three-day-a-week habit became a five-day ritual she genuinely loves. “It’s slower, softer, intentional—and it feels so good,” Connie emphasized.
Rethink What Really Needs to Be Done
One of the most surprising benefits of this lifestyle? Greater productivity with less stress. Connie now evaluates tasks with three simple questions:
- Does it need to be done?
- Does it need to be done this fast?
- Does it need to be done with this intensity?
This clarity has helped her focus on what truly matters and let go of what doesn’t.
The Unexpected Benefits of a Softer Life
Since embracing this approach, Connie has noticed a cascade of positive changes:
- She listens more deeply and responds more thoughtfully.
- She’s less reactive and more playful.
- She laughs more and enjoys richer moments with her family.
- She’s still productive—but with more peace and purpose.
“We’re getting things done—and the things that don’t get done generally don’t need to be,” Connie said.
Connie continues to explore these ideas in her weekly Instagram Live sessions, held every Wednesday at 9:00 AM. She dives deeper into how to live softer, especially during seasonal transitions like summer, and how to stay present and intentional as a parent and a person. Find her on Instagram, @connie_sokol.
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