By Connie Sokol
There are a lot of things that stop women from becoming their best selves: feeling like that’s being self-centered, that it’s not okay to spend time on ourselves, or extreme thinking that we don’t have time or energy to spend on ourselves. We hesitate to give ourselves permission to develop talents, achieve goals or even our dreams. Often we wait for others to give us permission, like a spouse or a good friend, when they don’t even know we desire it, or they may be struggling with feelings of low self-worth and feel threatened by our accomplishment or even desire for it.
A good start way to start becoming your best self, come in the form of wise words from “What About Bob?”, which are “baby steps”! First we need to ask ourselves one of the most important questions, and that is, “What do I want?” Knowing what you want creates motivation, courage, excitement and results. And as you consider what you really want to be and become, remember our motto is “Dream Big, Dig Deep, Dare to Do!” When women do the LIFEChange program we encourage them to look at three main areas of their lives: Self, Relationships and LIFESkills. Then to answer these three questions for EACH area: I see, I feel, I know how to. For example, “I see a confident, loving, savvy, connected woman, wife and mother. I feel strong, aware, kind and intuitive. I know how to balance my life, organize my home and be financially solid.”
Once you have a written idea, start putting it into practice ONE goal at a time. Often once we finally open the floodgates we get so excited we want to do everything at once. It overwhelms us and those around us who can’t understand what’s happening, i.e. wow mom is coming alive, what does that mean! In LIFEChange we encourage women to do one major goal a month, and then ONE weekly goal to achieve it. So if you want to organize your home, you could break it down to a one-month goal of, I will organize my main rooms—master bedroom, kitchen and bathrooms. Then each week you would complete one of those areas. Or a personal goal of getting into photography–a one-month goal would be to get informed what’s required, supplies and time, etc. So maybe weekly goals would be, call three photographers and ask 5 questions; scout different photography stores for types of cameras, etc. Each week you will be moving forward in your goal.
Tackling one goal a week is fantastically effective! You cannot believe what women can achieve in 4, 8 or 12 weeks, never mind 52 weeks in a year. Women are very talented, especially in multi-tasking but what we seem to struggle with is focusing our energy on one thing and seeing it to completion over a longer period of time. In “The Power of Focus for Women,” Fran Hewitt shares that it is through learning to focus on one thing we actually hit new dimensions of learning which creates greater and more effective change in lots of areas in our lives. I call this the Domino Effect—when you truly focus on one goal, it ripple effects into every area of your life. For example, over the past few months I have lost weight and exercised. This has given me more energy, which has helped me keep my home more organized, which has given me more time to create kits for LIFEChange, etc. It’s a beautiful cycle.
To help maintain this focus, I encourage women to create a Wall of Inspiration, a white board, cork board, a space of wall that you can call your own! The board contains your goals, dreams, hopes, inspirational pictures and quotes, you name it. I’m not a “crafty” person, so I just keep it simple.
What it comes down to is dream big, dig deep and dare to do!
Connie Sokol is an at-home mother of six. She is also a national presenter, internet radio host of “LIFEChange Live!” and regular columnist for Deseret News and Utah Valley Magazine. She is the former radio host of “Ask a Woman” for Bonneville Communications and TV host for “Standing Up”. Mrs. Sokol also currently teaches LIFEChange classes at Utah Valley State College.
With her left toe she is the author of Are You Ready for a LIFEChange? and Life is Too Short for One Hair Color, as well as numerous talk tapes, and is president of LIFEChange, an online life coaching program helping women create and live a balanced and beautiful life.
Surpassing her passion for LIFEChange, Mrs. Sokol marinates in time spent with her family and eating decadent treats.
For more information about the LIFEChange program, visit www.lifechangeprogram.com.