Try a fresh perspective on parenting. Find out how clearing your belief windows can help you tackle any family challenge.
Author, and parenting expert, Maggie Stevens, says it’s time to clean off our belief windows.
What are Belief Windows?
You cannot actually see your Belief Window because it’s invisible, but we all have one. It is figuratively attached to your head and hangs in front of your face. Every time you move, that window goes with you. You look at the world through it and what you see is filtered back to you through it. Our outlook on the world around us is determined by our belief windows. We begin forming these belief windows from birth.
How do these Belief Windows form?
Come from previous experience. Example: As a child you have had a bad experience with a dog, you might believe that all dogs are vicious.
Come from what people have taught us when we were young or from our culture. Example: Stealing is bad.
General observations of life, example: Father always takes out the garbage. You assume it is husband’s responsibility to take care of garbage
Some of us can barely see out of our windows, they are so crowded with belief statements. The smaller the viewing area through our window, the less willing we will be to test our assumptions and beliefs.
Examples of Destructive Family Belief Windows:
*Good moms have a clean house at all times
*Successful children get all “A’s”
*Children should be reading by the time they start kindergarten
*If we have money, or a big house, or a nice car, we will be a happy family.
*Child should attend a particular college
*Daughter should play tennis/Son should play football
*Children should never talk back to their parents
(Be wary of “should” behaviors)
So, how well can you see out of your belief window?
Is it streaked with lots of untrue, outdated, or damaging belief statements that limit your options in life?
Or is it clean and easy to see through, framed by tested and true belief statements that keep your options open?
We can clear our belief windows. How?
First, we need to recognize and acknowledge the very existence of these belief statements.
Second, look at the results you are getting in life. Are these results bringing you happiness or do they produce pain in your life.
Third, Ask yourself what beliefs might be on your Belief Window that could be changed or talk to a friend or a professional.
Fourth, Implement a new behavior and evaluate the results. It should bring peace and happiness into your life and your family.
Example of this is a young couple with small children:
Couple constantly argued, creating a constant tension in the home. In turn, the children were always fighting. To the husband this was normal behavior because that is how life was for him growing up in his home. The wife felt very unhappy and uncomfortable with the atmosphere because her childhood had been completely different. She talked with other mothers, observed other families and knew something was wrong. She pushed for them to go to counseling. Through counseling and group therapy, the psychologist was able to show the husband that his perception of how they related was not correct. They were able to make the necessary changes and experience a new level of joy in their lives and the home environment greatly improved.
Join Maggie for a parenting workshop at the What a Woman Wants Show: