She recently opened up about a very private and personal trial, sharing with Studio 5’s Brooke Walker how she found strength through divorce.
Courtney Kendrick’s words are raw, her writing real.
“I’m getting to a point where I’m OK being personal,” she shrugs.
“CJane,” as she is known in the blogging world, isn’t afraid to get personal in her posts. She often opens up about sensitive subjects others shy away from.
“I don’t want my readers to come to my blog and be fed fluff,” she explained. “That’s OK every once and awhile, but I want my readers to know I’m willing to share my life with them and in turn they share my life with me.”
Courtney said she doesn’t regret anything she’s written, but she recently tackled what she says was her toughest topic yet – sharing with readers the grief and growth she experienced, when her first marriage fell apart.
“[It’s a time when] my heart was breaking,” she said. “My heart was breaking. It was sad.”
Courtney describes her first engagement as exciting.
“I really hoped the feelings would last, but when I woke up the next morning I felt like my soul had frozen over,” she remembers.
But a then 23-year old Courtney put on the face and forced the excitement of a young bride, despite warning and worry from family and friends.
“I think the whole time I knew it wasn’t the best choice for me, but I was at that point. I was more concerned with the social implications of calling it off,” she said.
Courtney moved forward with the marriage but seven short months after it began, she knew it needed to end.
“People were still congratulating me,” she said. “I remember opening the door one day and my mom’s friend said ‘Oh, the new bride! I haven’t been able to wish you a happy marriage yet.’ I didn’t know what to say – it was really embarrassing for me.”
Embarrassing…but also empowering. Courtney describes that difficult time as a time of deep faith, a time of hope and courage, and a time when her spirit was strong.
“The strongest I have every felt in character, in who I was, was right after my divorce,” Courtney said. “I remember feeling like I was born again.”
Readers responded to her story in loud volume, many reaching out with their own experiences. Courtney’s advice is a message of trust.
“Trust in that part of you that wants to try again and find happiness,” she said. “If you do trust that part, it will guide you to places you never knew you could go and happiness’s you never knew you could feel. I think every woman has it. It can be buried deep, deep inside. But it’s there – and by trusting it, you’ll fly.”
And Courtney is flying. She and her husband of 8 years just celebrated the birth of their second child. And they both celebrate the experience Courtney brought to the marriage…and hope sharing that experience will strengthen others.
“I want others to know that life is beautiful. And I’m a champion of that,” she said firmly. “No matter what happens and no matter what goes on, the human soul will always seek out joy,. I want to record that. And I want other people to believe that, too.”
To read more of Courtney’s experiences and perspective’s as a woman, wife and mother visit her blog: blog.cjanerun.com.