‘Are you fulfilled, or just lonely?’ 10 relationship questions to ask before marriage

These relationship questions are important for any long-term relationship.

Choosing who you marry is one of the most important decisions you’ll ever make – and you want your children to choose well. While you can’t control your child’s decisions, you can guide them toward the right person.

Studio 5 Relationship Contributor Dr. Matt Townsend, shared 10 crucial questions everyone should ask themselves before getting married. These questions are not only great for those dating, but also for anyone in a long-term relationship. They can serve as a solid check-in with yourself to see if you’re showing up in these ways for your partner.

1. Are You Truly Fulfilled in This Relationship?

“Are you truly fulfilled in this relationship, or are you just lonely?” It’s essential to distinguish between genuine fulfillment and merely feeling less lonely. Settling for less can lead to long-term dissatisfaction.

2. Can You Be Your Authentic Self?

“Are you able to unapologetically be yourself, or do you feel the need to show up differently to please your partner?” Authenticity is crucial for a lasting relationship. Faking it can only last so long before the real you emerges.

3. Do You Like Who Your Partner Is?

“If someone told you that you were a lot like your partner, would this be a compliment to you?” Being proud of your partner and who they are is vital. If you don’t feel proud, it might be time to reassess.

4. How Do You Feel About Yourself Around Your Partner?

“Do you sincerely like how you feel about yourself after being around your partner for extended periods of time?” A healthy relationship should make you feel good about yourself.

5. Are You Each Other’s Go-To Person?

“Are you each other’s ‘help me move the body’ kind of friend?” Being the first person your partner calls in times of need is a sign of a strong bond. If they call someone else first, it could impact the relationship long-term.

6. Are You in Love with Who They Are Now?

“Are you in love with who your partner is right now as a whole, or are you in love with their good side, their potential?” Loving someone for who they are now, not just their potential, is crucial for a stable relationship.

7. Do You Feel Empowered to Share Your Voice?

“Do you feel truly empowered to exercise your authentic voice by openly sharing your opinions?” Having an equal say in the relationship and feeling heard is essential for both partners.

8. Would You Want Your Child to Date Someone Like Your Partner?

“Would you want your child or imagined child to date someone exactly like your partner?” This question can provide deep insights into your true feelings about your partner.

9. Are There Things You’re Afraid to Share About Your Partner?

“Are there any things that you see in your partner or that you know about your partner that you’re afraid to share with your closest friends and family?” Keeping secrets about your partner can indicate underlying issues.

10. Can You Effectively Talk Through Hard Issues?

“Are you confident that you can effectively talk through hard issues and come up with solutions that benefit each other equally?” Effective communication and conflict resolution are key to a successful relationship.

These questions can spark meaningful conversations and self-reflection, helping you and your partner build a stronger, more authentic relationship.

Learn more from Matt at matttownsend.com. Check out his Becoming One program!