Just because you’re not the fun mom, doesn’t mean you can’t have fun.
Not every mom is a glitter and glue party planner, and that’s more than okay. Being the fun mom doesn’t come naturally to a lot of mothers, and the pressure to perform can make parenting feel heavy sometimes. But you don’t need to be over-the-top fun to be fun. You just need to tap into what makes you, you.
Parenting Mentor Kristen Duke shared how the not naturally fun mom can be a little more fun.
The Pressure to Be a Fun Mom
Kristen acknowledged the societal pressure many moms feel to be the “fun mom.” “I think we’re striving to connect, find ways to do things with our kids, with our teenagers, and fun is a way to do it, but it’s not always a personality trait,” she explained. This pressure can lead to feelings of inadequacy, but Kristen emphasized that fun is more about connection than personality.
Normalizing Different Types of Fun
Kristen wants to normalize the idea that fun doesn’t have to be extravagant. “Fun is a way of being. You don’t have to be loud, silly, the life of the party,” she said.
Instead, fun can be about creating a comfortable and enjoyable atmosphere. “Fun isn’t about volume. It’s your vibe, as the teens like to say,” she added.
Redefining Fun
Kristen encouraged moms to redefine what fun means. “Fun to a teen is often being with a mom who feels easy, who feels light, who’s accepting to be around,” she explained. Simple activities like laughing together at a meme or going for a Starbucks run can be just as meaningful as more elaborate plans.
Leveraging Your Strengths
Kristen advised moms to focus on their strengths rather than trying to perform. “I like adventure. I like going and doing things. So that to me, that is my strength,” she shared. Whether it’s watching TV shows together or stepping into your child’s world, leveraging your strengths can make parenting more enjoyable.
Practicing Light and Fluffy Connections
Kristen explained the importance of light and fluffy connections. “Fun thrives when pressure takes the back seat,” she said. Setting aside intentional pockets of time to connect without nagging makes a big difference in your relationship with your children.
Embracing Playfulness
A fun mom isn’t perfect, but playful. Kristen encouraged moms to embrace moments of silliness. “When I mess up, I can laugh at myself, point it out, be willing to take the tiny risks,” she said. Whether it’s dancing in the kitchen or trying a TikTok trend, being playful can strengthen your bond with your children.
Following Curiosity
Kristen believes that fun follows curiosity. “Get curious about what your teen finds fun. Say things like, ‘teach me about your favorite game,'” she suggested. By showing interest in your child’s hobbies, you can create opportunities for fun and connection.
Find more advice from Kristen, on Instagram @kristendukechats, or visit her website, kristenduke.com.
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