Helpful or hurtful? Why chasing the happy life could be destructive…

Everyone seems to be chasing the happy life. But that chase might actually be what is driving our lack of joy.

Dr. Matt Townsend shares how we can find real fulfillment in our lives.



Stop Chasing the Happy Life: How Fulfillment Brings Lasting Joy

Matt says that “you don’t catch happiness by chasing it” mentality is leading us to anxiety and discontentment.

Here are four rules that will help you put more emphasis on lasting joy and fulfillment rather than short-term happiness.

1. Focus on Positive “Being” Not Plentiful Things

Happiness is not about things, it’s about being. Don’t be susceptible to the myth that success brings happiness. This is a lie and in fact, the opposite is true; once you are happy, success will usually follow. Remember that it’s never going to be about how many Instagram followers you have or your child’s perfect grades, it’s about who you are. What are your principles? Your passions? What are your values? It’s about being the best you, not the best in comparison to everyone else. Start focusing on the “ings” not the things – loving, accepting, caring, sharing, daring, and believing.

2. Appreciate the Given Gifts, Not the Expected Gifts

Happier people appreciate what they have been given, not just what they expect to get. They can see the good in all of their life, not just the positive thing they receive. Happy people don’t accept the myth that happiness is the absence of pain. They know that happiness is about human flourishing, in the midst of difficulties. “They count their blessings, they name them one by one.”

3. Tune into the Now, Not the Numb

Happy people are present in their life and are they are tuned in. They aren’t overly involved in anything that diminishes how they feel about the world. They don’t try to “numb out” with media, technology, medication, drugs, or excess of any kind. Their phones are tools and not masters. They have learned that the present is the only time and space where they can make a difference in the world. Time, they say, is their most precious gift. Happy people focus on learning and growth. They start each day as if it were fresh. Most importantly, they view improvement as their goal and progress as their source of joy.

4. Connect Deeply With Others Along The Way

Happy people connect with others. Whether they are introverted or extroverted, they know how to connect with others and they do so. They recognize that being human and happy demands that we are connected to the humans around us. Happy people know how to be safely attached to others. They look people in the eye and confidently express their love. The happiest people are okay being vulnerable. They own up to their mistakes and accept sincere apologies from others. In essence, they are quick to connect and slow to reject.

For more than a decade, Dr. Matt Townsend has been energizing audiences with his unique approach to maintaining successful relationships. Known as one of America’s top presenters in the field of Human Relations and Development, Matt blends humor and storytelling with interactive, real-life solutions that inspire immediate results in his audiences.

Matt has dedicated his life to the study of communication and interpersonal relationships. He has shared his experience with thousands of clients ranging from individuals and marriages to large corporations such as CNN, Cox Communication, and Lockheed Martin.

In addition to his professional life, Matt spends his time playing tennis and spending time with his wife Mardi, their six children, and three grandchildren.

Find more details about Matt’s next workshop on his website,

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