His Perspective: Five Things We Secretly Celebrate About You

Studio 5 Relationship Coach Matt Townsend breaks down five things men secretly celebrate and admire in their partner.

Your Self-Confidence

You women truly are an amazing group of people and for some odd reason many of you don’t believe us when we tell you. There is nothing we celebrate more than when you begin to catch the true reflection of how amazingly talented, smart, loving and beautiful you really are. You are incredible and everyone around you who sees it tries to tell you hoping that it will eventually stick. When it does stick, you’re much more willing to accept our compliments about your looks, gifts and talents. You also carry yourself with more confidence in your opinions, ideas and opportunities. We celebrate your confidence because when your confidence goes up, it automatically influences how you treat others including us guys. Having self-confidence forces all of us around you to see you differently and treat you better.

Your Sincere Smile

There is no gift that a man appreciates more in his partner than to know that she is truly happy and nothing shows that more than a sincere smile. When a man knows his wife is happy he feels more confident in himself, more self-assured, probably because for some odd reason he believes that your happiness had something to do with him. It also means that there is nothing immediate that needs to be fixed or worked on, which undoubtedly lowers the stress on both of you. In fact you may have noticed that some of your biggest arguments probably escalated in the moment that you showed your partner how truly unhappy you were. One of the most satisfying moments for a man is when he sees an unsolicited, sincere smile emanating from his wife’s mouth. That tells him she’s content with her life and family, not that there isn’t a lot of work to be done, but she’s still content with what she has. In essence the smile shows she’s not running on fumes any more. She’s got a sense of hope in her tank, reminding him of the old days, pre-kids and stress, when her smile communicated how happy she was to be with him.

Your Unconditional Love

The ability to love someone or something without expecting anything in return is unconditional love. Others say unconditional love is God’s love. In my mind there is no trait that women have more of a corner on the market than the idea of love. That is so apparent when you see how fully and quickly a mother can love her child or a wife can love her husband. Your ability to quickly forgive and forget the mistakes, the insincerities or the moments where your children take you for granted are amazing. As men, we celebrate your ability to love so unconditionally! We inevitably celebrate it even more when you demonstrate that love with us as your partner. We learn so much after we’ve made mistakes and you quickly forgive us, looking more to the future than the past. Your unconditional love is contagious and the more you interact with us using it, the more infected we become.

The Peace You Bring with Life Balanced

As men we celebrate the instinctive drive of a woman that allows you to be keenly aware of all opportunities to live, grow and make a better life for those around you. You see the endless needs and opportunities that life affords and you want to answer the call to be a better mother, friend, sister, daughter, partner, church member, room mother, etc. As men, one of our greatest desires is that the women in our lives find a balance between the many opportunities that strengthen our families and the peace that exists in the quiet spaces of life. We love it when you find that sweet balance spot, where growth is taking place with everyone in the family and yet the peace abounds. We love the calm that you generate in that balance. We celebrate when those quiet spaces are created instead of been seen as a free moment ready to be filled with more stressful activities or simple activities orchestrated in more stressful ways. Thank you ladies, for your unceasing drive to create better lives and your willingness to learn how to let peace enter the process of living.

Your Lessons of Gratitude

Thank you for saying thank you! One of the most notable benefits of women in a family is that you bring such class to the endeavor. What would our families look like without you reminding us all to be thankful for our blessings? What would our communities look like if we didn’t have mothers teaching their children to “be polite”, to say “please” and “thank you” and to give service to the neighbors? Your lessons of goodness abound and none seem to be more important than the simple lesson of being grateful for what you have. Being grateful for what you have and showing that gratitude is one of the healthiest habits there is. It pushes us to find the good in everything and keeps us humble realizing that there is so much more that could go wrong. In the ears of a man, nothing seems to be more comforting than hearing about what he is doing well, especially by the woman who matters most in his life. No compliment goes better than the simple act of gratitude for a job well done. This must be a hard characteristic for men to master, because most women aren’t repaid gratitude for all that they do. Don’t give up though; don’t be less grateful simply because you live with a bunch of ingrates. Your example is being noticed and your attitude of gratitude raises everyone around you. Thank you for your thankfulness.

Matt Townsend is a national speaker and relationship expert who uses his unique gift of understanding relationships to help individuals, couples and families learn the skills they need to better relate. Through entertainment and humor he teaches life-changing principles and skills empowering couples to change by learning to communicate more effectively, to stop patterns of negative reactions, and to get to the heart of important issues.
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