Studio 5 Beauty & Style Contributor Holly Stone and Studio 5 Family & Relationships Contributor Dr. Liz Hale instruct us on the art of confidently meeting new people and how to put our best foot (and focus!) forward.
HOW TO FEEL CONFIDENT
By Studio 5 Family & Relationships Contributor Dr. Liz Hale
Put a Control-Top on Thoughts
You know how we love control-top hosiery and how it makes us feel a bit more confident when wearing that form fitting dress? It holds us in; we feel a bit firmer and more in control – not everything is hanging out all over? Well, may I suggest a control-top for our minds, as well? We need to be firm with ourselves and prevent that negative self-talk from flowing freely by controlling it. When putting your best foot forward you CANNOT afford the luxury of a negative thought! When a negative belief oozes outside the control-top (your mind) put in back in its place. Confident people are not in denial about their strengths and weaknesses – they are able to hear feedback and evaluate themselves fairly. However, they do not tell themselves they are sure to fail an important task, or that they are useless, hopeless or incapable. Maintain the mental form that will allow you to step out of yourself and connect to others. This is what determines successful people (not perfect people) from those who don’t take risks and never get a chance to see what they’re made of. Thought-control is key!
Forget Self, Focus on Situation
It is so important to take good care of ourselves and look our best. Hygiene, attitude, and attire are important extensions of who we are. When we take care of ourselves and make efforts to dress to the best of our abilities for the occasion, these actions tell our mind that we are valuable and have something important to contribute to others. Then, when we’ve done all you can to put our best foot forward…we can forget about ourselves! Not only does this lead to more confidence but greater happiness! Nothing makes me feel more self-aware and insecure than when my thoughts are all about me, myself, and I. There is no “I” in the word “peace.” Involve others in a conversation about the food, atmosphere, summer vacations, and children. The best tool in the art of communication is LISTENING.
HeartMath Researchers, an impressive group from Stanford and the Miami Heart Research Institute determined that our heart generates an electromagnetic field around us that is several feet in diameter and 5,000 times greater than the field generated by the brain. Your honest concern will reach and enter the hearts of others. Look after the other people you are talking to – focus on their comfort and you will be far more relaxed than when you are worrying about yourself.
Repair & Recovery When “It” Happens
It’s bound to happen; you forget someone’s name, or you find yourself accidently spitting
instead of speaking. A dear friend of mine was at a cocktail party, meeting new work associates and she was so intent on the conversation at hand that when she went to sip Diet Coke through her straw, the straw went up inside another orifice; not her mouth. She stood there for a moment with this straw inside her nostril before she said, “You know, I’m talented but I can’t really use a straw this way.” Her sense of humor broke the ice and everyone laughed with her. It’s often the imperfections that join and bond us to each other. Have a few recovery statements on hand like, such as, “I’m sorry…let me try saying these words instead of spraying them all over!” Or, “that was a smooth move on my part, wasn’t it? If you want any tips on grace and charm, sign-up right here!” We have all been there….acknowledge what just happened and move on!
HOW TO LOOK CONFIDENT
By Studio 5 Beauty & Style Contributor Holly Stone
As the song goes, “You’re never fully dressed without a smile”. A smile speaks even when you are saying nothing. A smile can express happiness, peace, approachability, and confidence. In his book”How to Win Friends and Influence People,” Dale Carnegie talks about an important need of humans to have meaningful relationships with others and how good social interrelationships can lead to much success in life and in business. In his book the very first chapter is devoted to the “big secret of dealing with people”, the importance of a smile. He speaks of the importance of using the smile to create good, positive first impressions. A smile is the most important thing to “wear” to put others at ease and help you find the confidence within. So when faced with an intimidating situation: Stop. Take a deep breath. And Smile. Your body and mind will follow suit…
Get Dressed the Right Way
We all put our pants on the same way-one foot at a time. However, our choices in pants vary based on lifestyle and circumstance. Research your schedule of events and make sure you are putting your best image foot forward. If you make an effort at the beginning of the day to make yourself presentable, you will not have to worry about making excuses for your appearance later. If you look sloppy, you will feel sloppy and you will possibly hide your beautiful self behind self-conscious body language, a lowered head and excuses. Don’t miss out on the opportunity to meet that new job “in”, or a new friend just because you didn’t make the effort to dress to the occasion. When you look put together, you will feel more confident and will be more amenable to new situations and meeting new people.
Image is Etiquette
All too often we associate Image with vanity, superficiality and shallow thinking. When we understand that image is a form of communication, and therefore good image etiquette is about social manners, we realize that it is not “ALL ABOUT ME”, but truly about being respectful to others. You can communicate respect to another through good grooming and thoughtful image. When people sense you care about them, the reciprocity of kindness begins. If you feel well received by others, your confidence gets a natural boost.
Image is also malleable. You can always change your style or image. Pay attention to how you feel when you dress a certain way or wear your hair and makeup in a particular fashion. If you’re feeling less than great, simply make small changes to your overall look. But remain true to you. Remember you will always make a better YOU than your best imitation of someone else.