Is it ever okay to tease your spouse or kids?

Humor and laughter are important in family units, but teasing can be hurtful
when done or taken wrong. So in a loving family environment, is it ever okay
to tease your spouse or kids?

Studio 5 Relationship Coach Matt Townsend says, “yes” and explains how it
can be beneficial.

I believe that humor and laughter are an essential part of the human
experience. Laughter really is the best medicine, its benefits are so
important to a family. Families that laugh together have a lot more together,
like more immunity, more energy, more pain relief and more peace.
Laughter helps you to relax and recharge. It reduces stress and increases
energy, enabling you to stay focused and accomplish more. Laughter also
helps you and your family to adapt to the pressures of life, change
interpretations and to create a healthier space.

In order to not let our humor become harmful, here are a few rules to help
you and your family along the way.

1. Focus on the Long-Term Relationship, not Just The Short Term Reaction.

Despite humor’s amazing potential to heal others, it also has the power to
harm as well. One key to make sure that your humor is healthy is to focus on
the long-term impact to the relationship of every joke you make. By thinking
long-term, instead of just enjoying the short term laughter you will be able
to make better decisions in with your humor. In the end, it really is the
relationship that matters more than the reaction of your partner. Many times
however when we use humor inappropriately, we end up focusing more on
the moment than the marriage. Here’s an example of a husband who just
went for the short term reaction over the long-term relationship.

The bomb:

The apology:

Interestingly he realized as we all did when we watched it that he was going
to have to apologize for how he set her up. In the end if we don’t think
about the relationship more than their funny reactions, we’ll end up paying
for it in the long run. One helpful test for your humor is to ask yourself, “Do
I want the world to see how I’m treating or laughing at this person?” If not,
then your joke is better left unsaid.

2. Remember That the Funniest Moments are Usually Found Not Created…So
Pay Attention!

One powerful thing about humor is that it brings us into the present
moment. You really have to be looking for the funny in order to find it. And
when you find it, you really want to share it with others. The best humor just
appears in the moment and is easily enjoyed by everyone, including the
person at the center of the joke. The reason it is so connecting is because it
makes us all be together in a moment of time, which is a rare occurrence in
this world. Here’s a simple example of finding the funny in the moment.

3. Good Humor Means Good Feelings for Everyone

Use your humor to unite, unify and bring everyone in the family closer
together. Humor and playful communication strengthens relationships
because it helps us to trigger positive feelings and chemicals. When we
laugh, feelings like dopamine enter our systems which makes us feel more
happy and relaxed. These humorous moments actually end up priming our
body for emotionally connecting chemicals to follow. Humor strengthens our
body to handle the day to day problems of life like stress, disappointment
and conflict. In the end, the best way to know your humor works, is if
everyone involved feels loved, connected with and together. Here’s an
example of good humor in action.

For more information, you can contact Matt (801) 747-2121 or online. You
can also sign up for his upcoming Date Night.

April 27, 2012

Date Night with Matt

SLCC Miller Campus

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