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Do you know your attachment style? Here are 4 and how they shape relationships

Your attachment style says a lot about you.

Have you ever written off a relationship by labeling the other person as too needy? Or maybe too distant? Well, if you take a closer look, underneath those labels are attachment styles. And underneath those we find a childhood experience that shaped us to the core.

Marriage and family therapist Tammy Hill says understanding our own attachment style will lead to more emotional security and maturity in our relationships.

You can find more from Tammy on Instagram, @tammy_hill_lmft or tammyhill.com.


 

4 Attachment Styles and What They Mean

SECURE ATTACHMENT

Refers to the ability to form secure, loving relationships with others. A securely attached person can trust others and be trusted, love and accept love, and get close to others with relative ease. They’re not afraid of intimacy, nor do they feel panicked when their partners need time or space away from them. They’re able to depend on others without becoming totally dependent.

ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT

A form of insecure attachment style marked by a deep fear of abandonment. Anxiously attached people tend to be very insecure about their relationships, often worrying that their partner will leave them and thus always hungry for validation. Anxious attachment is associated with “neediness” or clingy behavior, such as getting very anxious when your partner doesn’t text back fast enough and constantly feeling like your partner doesn’t care enough about you.

AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT

A form of insecure attachment style marked by a fear of intimacy. People with avoidant attachment style tend to have trouble getting close to others or trusting others in relationships, and relationships can make them feel suffocated. They typically maintain some distance from their partners or are largely emotionally unavailable in their relationships, preferring to be independent and rely on themselves.

DISORGANIZED ATTACHMENT

A combination of both the anxious and avoidant attachment styles. People with fearful-avoidant attachment both desperately crave affection and¬†want to avoid it at all costs. They’re reluctant to develop a close romantic relationship, yet at the same time, they have a dire need to feel loved by others

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