All parents feel parenting fatigue sometimes.
After the whirlwind that was May, and as summer looms ahead, many parents feel a familiar wave of exhaustion. The school year ends, but the chaos doesn’t. Instead, it shifts into a new form: long, unscheduled days, kids home 24/7, and the pressure to keep everyone entertained, fed, and happy. It’s no wonder so many parents feel overwhelmed.
This feeling has a name: parenting fatigue. According to Studio 5 parenting contributor Heather Johnson, it’s not only real—it’s normal.
It’s Not You. It’s the Job.
Let’s start by clearing up a common misconception: feeling burnt out doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent.“Parenting fatigue is not you being a bad mom. It is not abnormal. It is not us not loving our children or not knowing what to do with them,” Heather said.
She emphasized that burnout is often a sign of how much we care. The emotional investment, the constant decision-making, the invisible labor—it all adds up.“It probably means we’re doing a really great job and care about being a parent,” she said.
The Hidden Roots of Burnout
While it’s easy to blame a packed calendar or a messy house, Heather encouraged us to look deeper. Yes, life is busy—but burnout often stems from more personal, less visible sources.
- How We Were Treated as Kids
“If the feedback you got was void of compassion… then as a parent, when things start to get challenging, that’s actually how we’ll talk to ourselves,” Heather explained. If you grew up hearing “buck up” or “get over it,” you might now echo those same messages internally. This lack of self-compassion can intensify stress and make parenting feel even harder.
- Neglected Parts of Ourselves
Burnout can also be a signal that something inside us is being ignored. “There’s a part of you that needs some attention that isn’t getting any of that,” Heather said. Maybe it’s a hobby you’ve abandoned, a friendship that’s faded, or simply the need for more sleep. When we ignore these needs, our emotional reserves run dry.
Compassion Is a Superpower
One of the most powerful tools for combating burnout? Compassion—both for ourselves and our children. “We have this societal fear that if we’re compassionate to ourselves, it means we’re going to get lazy… That isn’t true,” Heather said.
Compassion doesn’t mean giving up or giving in. It means acknowledging that something is hard and choosing to respond with kindness instead of criticism. “We can be compassionate to a child who is complaining about school… and still also drive them to school,” Heather emphasized.
Anger Is a Clue, Not a Character Flaw
Many parents feel guilty about getting angry. But Heather reframed anger as a helpful signal. “Anger is a feeling that’s pointing its finger towards… what needs are not being met for us,” she explained. Instead of beating ourselves up, we can ask: What is this anger trying to tell me? Maybe it’s a need for rest, connection, or support. When we listen to our anger, we can respond more thoughtfully.
Let Two Things Be True
One of Heather’s most empowering insights is the idea that two seemingly contradictory things can be true at once. “I can be frustrated with being a mom today and also be a really good mom,” she said. This mindset helps us hold space for complexity. Parenting is hard and beautiful. Exhausting and rewarding. Messy and meaningful. When we allow these truths to coexist, we reduce shame and increase resilience.
Watch Your Inner Voice
Finally, Heather reminded us that it’s not just the hard days that wear us down—it’s how we talk to ourselves about them. “It’s not actually the situations… that burn us out. It’s how we talk to ourselves about those situations and ruminate about them,” she explained.
Instead of replaying a bad Monday over and over, we can acknowledge it, learn from it, and move on. “Let two things coexist. Parenting can be hard. Monday didn’t go really great, and also I’m grateful that I can spend time with my kids today,” Heather said.
Moving Forward with Grace
Parenting fatigue doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re human. By practicing compassion, listening to your emotions, and honoring all parts of yourself, you can move through burnout with more grace and less guilt. “We can get ahead of burnout when we learn from the emotions that we experience, instead of beating ourselves up about those emotions,” Heather said. So this summer, give yourself permission to feel it all—and to care for yourself as fiercely as you care for your kids.
To contact Heather for counseling, email blog.familyvolley@gmail.com, or visit www.familyvolley.blogspot.com.
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