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Bubble baths and pedicures? Where women are going wrong with self care

We all know the term self-care, but do we really know what it means? Spoiler alert: it’s more than just bubble baths and facials.

Reva Cook shares what it is and what it isn’t.



Self-Care: What It Is and Isn’t

Self-care is the latest buzzword to hit the wellness world but do we really understand what it means? Women are having a hard time wrapping their minds around this concept. Is it because the concept is foreign to us? Or are we missing the point all together?

There are many myths around self-care. Here is a guide for what it is NOT.

  1. Self-care is not self-indulgence, or a waste of time.
  2. It doesn’t have to be time consuming or expensive.
  3. It is not something reserved for special occasions.
  4. Self-care isn’t a specific activity.
  5. It is not selfish.

As we turn out attention to things that fill us with joy, we start to love ourselves more. Here are some things to keep in mind.

1. Self-care is necessary

In the very literal sense, self-care is taking care of yourself. The opposite of this would be self-neglect which leads us to feel burned-out, stressed, and overwhelmed. Self-care is constant maintenance which means it’s more than an occasional treat, bubble bath, or girl’s night out.

2. Self-care is anything renewing, refueling or refreshing

This doesn’t have to be expensive or time-consuming. A self-care activity could be watching your teenager’s face as they talk about something exciting to them. It could be a drive-through run to your favorite soda destination. When we give to ourselves, we can become stronger. Our stress goes down and we become more patient, kind and joyful.

3. Self-care is different for everyone

Every person has different needs at different times. Find out what activities work for you. Make a list and draw from it. The best activities depend on your life circumstances in the moment.

4. Self-care is self-discovery

Many women live in self-neglect mode. Learn to explore self-care activities. Start by paying attention to how you feel when you do certain things. Make a list of enjoyable things that refuel, renew, and refresh you. Not everything will feel like self-care to every person. Learn to discover what qualifies as self-care to you.

Reva Cook is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker who has a passion for helping women and families navigate life. She graduated from Brigham Young University with a Bachelors in Psychology and later went on to receive a Masters in Social Work.  

Reva has presented her work at organizations such as the Baby Cubby, Utah Valley Hospital, and The Teen Years. She currently serves as the Board of Directors at the Food and Care Collation.  

You can find Reva on Instagram (@revacooklcsw) and online at the www.thehealinggroup.com.