Karen Eddington is the founder and owner of Cauliflower Retreat, self-worth outreach program for everyday women and teens. She shares tips to help every parent build self-worth within the home.
Each of us faces pressures. Sometimes pressures and challenges can cause us to question ourselves. No matter if you’re a mother, aunt, sister, or father you can play a vital role in establishing self-confidence within a family. The home is the place where we grow up, the people we live with, and it is the foundation for our values. No matter what circumstances you are in, your example and influence within the home matters.
1. Teach the stable nature of self-worth: Contrary to all the messages we see, our value as a person is constant. Sometimes we feel like we lose value if we get cut from the dance team, gain weight, or don’t have an income. Sometimes we feel like we gain value if we have a makeover, lose weight, or are offer a position of important. Self-Worth is always there. Our self-esteem, which is our perception of our value, is often what changes. Teaching the constant nature of worth can help bring a feeling of security.
2. Recognize and replace thinking errors: A thinking error is a thought we may dwell on that is restrictive or false. For example, “Nobody likes me.” When we have a thinking error we are often overlooking other facts or positive factors. The moment you catch yourself thinking restrictively, stop, and replace the false statement with something you know to be true. “Yes, people do like me. My mom likes me. The girl in my math class likes me.” You can help those in your home to recognize and replace thinking errors. Here are a few more examples of thinking errors: “I have no talents.” “I’m a bad mother.” “I never win anything.”
3. Don’t find yourself, create yourself: There are times in life we feel lost. We may have heard or used the expression, “I’ve got to find out who I am.” Part of living is growing. We won’t just wake-up one day and find ourselves, rather ever moment of our lives is about creating ourselves. Our identity is about choices and being accountable for our choices. If someone in your home is feeling lost in terms of their identity help them discover things they look forward to, goals they are working on, and work they can engage in.
4. Bring out the best in each other: Take time to look for the good in each other. Treat one another as the person we can become. As families spend a lot of time together, it can be easy to get hung up on our bad habits, focus on tendencies, and label one another. Example: “Mary is shy, Ryan is athletic, or Kim is talkative.” Yes, it is good to share affirmations when someone does something good, but don’t limit one another. Even if someone in your family is shy, don’t keep dwelling on that label. Treat one another as we can become.
5. Be the refuge: You can create a safe environment, through communication, love and support. Especially amid times of struggle, be there to talk, listen and love one another. Make an effort to know what is going on with each person in your home. Take time to learn their hopes, fears, and goals. Ask questions so you understand the best and worst parts of their day. Create that atmosphere of love and safety.
Cauliflower Retreat is a self-worth outreach program for everyday women and teens. To learn more about self-worth building techniques and resources you can go to www.cauliflowerretreat.org