Stop protecting… start teaching. Teach kids to resist these 6 things

Rather than protecting, teach kids to resist.

Parents protect. It’s our responsibility, our job, right?

Studio 5 Parenting Contributor Heather Johnson says we’ve got it wrong. She shared why you should stop protecting and start teaching your kids to resist instead. Heather shared six things all parents need to stop protecting their kids from.

The Problem with Over-Protection

Heather explained that the focus and emphasis on protecting our kids is hurting not just our kids, but us as parents too. “We are raised and trained to protect our kids,” she said. However, this over-protection prevents children from developing their own skills and capacities to tackle challenges. Kids who are overly protected tend to be more anxious because they lack the skills to navigate real-life situations.

The Reality of Life’s Challenges

Children who are shielded from challenges develop an unrealistic view of life. They think that life is free of difficulties, which is far from the truth. This not only hurts the kids, but also sets parents up for failure. “We set ourselves up every day to try and protect our kids from ever facing anything hard. That’s not possible,” Heather pointed out.

Teaching Kids to Resist

Instead of protecting, Heather suggested teaching kids to resist. This means helping them withstand and not succumb to negative influences and pressures. “It isn’t a matter of if, it’s when they will face these things,” she emphasized. Here are six things parents should stop protecting their children from:

1. Pornography: Heather advised against trying to shield kids completely from pornography. Instead, parents should communicate openly about it, helping kids understand and resist its influence.
2. Negative Emotions: Stop protecting kids from feeling sad, mad, or hurt. Teach them how to handle these emotions. “50% of what we feel every day is negative,” Heather noted. Normalizing negative emotions and teaching kids that feelings aren’t facts can help them manage their emotions better.
3. Failure: Allow kids to fail and learn from their mistakes. “Failure is the plan,” Heather asserted. It’s essential for kids to experience failure to build resilience and problem-solving skills.
4. Pain: Let kids face physical and emotional pain. Whether it’s running a 5k at school or solving a difficult math problem, experiencing pain helps them grow stronger and more capable.
5. Risk: Encourage kids to take safe risks. From climbing trees to driving a car, taking risks is a part of growing up. “The more we try to protect them with words like ‘don’t trip,’ the more likely they are to trip,” Heather explained.
6. Challenges: Instead of shielding kids from challenges, teach them how to face and overcome them. This builds their confidence and prepares them for the real world.

By focusing on teaching kids to resist rather than protecting them, parents can help their children develop the skills they need to navigate life’s challenges. This approach not only benefits the kids but also alleviates the pressure on parents to create an impossible bubble of protection.

To contact Heather for counseling, email blog.familyvolley@gmail.com, or visit www.familyvolley.blogspot.com.