Author Vikki Carrel shares her strategy for a more confident you. The first step; don’t downplay your strengths, play them up instead. It’s a mind shift that can lead to personal satisfaction and success.
What are you communicating to others about yourself?
Begin by answering these four important questions:
●How do I see myself?
Personal perception is the key. How you perceive yourself and your contributions creates a foundation of confidence or self-doubt.
Scenario: What you choose to focus on and perceive about yourself is a personal choice. Don’t overlook your assets.
You receive a compliment. Acknowledge the compliment with an attitude of gratitude. Do not discount the kind words by dismissing them. Be appreciative and take time to recognize your strengths.
●Am I one-dimensional?
Adjust your perspective. If your perspective about your contributions and talents is negative, then it’s time to make some adjustments. Recognizing your accomplishments will help you reclaim your confidence. It is also important to be accountable for behaviors that need to be changed. Balance the positive and negative behaviors in your life.
Scenario: You receive constructive feedback about a presentation given at work. You have two choices. The feedback from your boss can paralyze you or motivate you. Be accountable for your behavior and make changes.
●Do I define myself or am I defined by others?
Embrace opportunities to re-define. Life is a process and what you resist will persist. Do not allow others’ opinions to define you and determine your success. Confidence comes by acknowledging insecurities, seeing beyond personal fears and embracing opportunities to stretch outside of your comfort zone. Re-define unhealthy labels.
Scenario: After one of my seminars a woman from the audience shared with me that she was frustrated by her friend’s criticism of her gray hair color. I asked her if she liked the color of her hair? When she replied yes, I said, “Your opinion is the one that counts, do not let other’s opinions define you.” Be an optimist. Have a realistic perspective and take time to re-define negative comments.
●Is my self-definition and life balanced?
Take action and thrive. A quick fix to low self-esteem is to get into action. Fear will immobilize you if you allow it to. Choose to balance your life and your self-definition by moving forward and believing in yourself.
Scenario: Your daughter feels frustrated because she did not make the cheer squad at school. Help her identify other ways to get involved. Encourage her to try out for the school play or join a club that interests her.
Become inspired to build a healthy relationship with yourself. Recognize that confidence is essential to successful living. Define your purpose, roles and values. Next, take a closer look at your talents, strengths, flaws and weaknesses. Avoid focusing only on the negative aspects about you. Do not be blind to your assets.
Are you ready to define and empower yourself?
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