When He’s Willing to Step in Your Shoes: Where Women Go Wrong

Scenario #1- The Rule of the Unwritten Rules

Stan got a call from his wife to pick up their twin children from soccer
practice on the way home from work. When he go there, he waited in the car
listening to the radio until they made their way over to the parking lot. On
the way home, Stan talked to the twins and was excited about the
conversation. He felt like he had really connected with his kids and for the
first time in a long time he actually felt like he was doing a great job as a
father. When they pulled up into the garage Jane was waiting for them and
asked the kids how things had gone. They both said, “Awesome” and
recounted the stories that they had just shared with Stan. Jane then asked the
twins what time their game was this Saturday, knowing that detail is
something that the coaches always announce at the practice right before the
game. None of the kids had paid attention and Stan wasn’t near the team to
hear the announcement. Jane got frustrated with Stan, telling him that he has
to get out of the car and go over to hear what the coaches are saying and
can’t just wait for the kids to come to the car. She then lectured him on how
he needed to make a greater effort, and try harder to be a better parent. She
argued that parents should be more interested in what their children’s
coaches have to say than what is being talked about on the radio. Stan was
amazed that there were so many unwritten rules about how to pick up his
children and again felt like he didn’t add up.

Scenario #2- Being Disciplined For Disciplining Your Children
Jim stayed home one day from work with a head cold and overheard his son
bad-mouthing his wife Stacy. The teenager was treating Stacy in a way that
would have never dared to treat his mother when he was a kid. Because Jim
had been raised by a fairly strict father, he never would have dared say some
of the things that Stacy was letting her son get away with. Angrily, Jim
confronted his teenager, raising his voice and shouting, “If I hear you treat
your mother with such disrespect again, you’re going to seriously pay for it!”
Jim grounded the teenager for a week and sent him to his room until he
could learn to treat his mother with the respect she deserved. Jim also took
away the boys access to the family car and told the boy that he would have to
find a ride to school for the next week. Although Jim wasn’t proud that he
had raised his voice, he felt good about the fact that he had taught his son
such an important lesson about how to treat a woman. Just as the discussion
with the boy was ending Stacy started getting mad at Jim for the way he had
handled the situation. She pointed out that grounding the boy for a week was
really only going to impact her more negatively because she would have to
drive him wherever he needed to go. She also dismissed the issue by saying
that their son was just being a boy and that he meant no harm by what he
was saying. In the end, Jim remained confused and frustrated. Why is she
correcting him for defending her “honor”? Was the boy really just being
normal? Should he really not worry about things like that in the future? In the
end, Jim remained convinced that it is just easier to stay out of it.

Scenario #3- “Sure I want your help; just make sure you do it my
way!”
Due to the downturn in the economy Jake’s business is taking a beating and
he is burning the candle at both ends to keep dinner on the table. Jake’s
tends to come home later and later each night and his exhaustion leads him
to either arrive too late to spend time with his family or he ends up falling
asleep on the couch before the children even make it to bed. Jake’s wife Anne
complains to Jake about how bad she feels that he never makes time for the
kids and how he never makes it home for family dinners. She also complains
about how frustrating it is for her to have her husband fall asleep before even
her children do, leaving her to put the kids to bed and no down time for
herself.

After hearing this, Jake made a special effort to pay more attention to the
children. One night, right after arriving home from work and having a dinner
with the family, Jakes invited the kids to play a board game hoping that
everyone in the family would play. Anne saw this as a chance to get a break
and went to another room to check her Facebook page. The game ended up
taking much longer to finish then was expected and Anne ended up getting
mad at Jake and yelling at the kids to go to bed! Eventually she turned on
Jake, feeling like it was his fault for starting a game too late in the evening
and messing up the family schedule. In the end, Jake had thought he was
doing something healthy for the family and instead only heard how his
efforts had messed things up.

Do You Want More From Your Spouse? Then Think MORE!

– MORE Positively About Them!

– MORE Understanding of How They See Things!

– That there’s MORE Than One Way to Do Something!