This is how to get going when you lack motivation.
When your to-do list looms a mile long and motivation is nowhere to be found, you’re facing a frustrating internal struggle. What do you do when your get-up-and-go is just… gone?
Psychologist Dr. Tom Golightly gave suggestions to help revive the drive and tap back into that ‘go-getter’ mindset, even if you feel like you’re on empty.
When you Lack Drive: How to Develop a “Go-Getter” Attitude
By Dr. Tom Golightly
Psychologist, Brigham Young University
Ever feel like you don’t have enough juice to get going? When the schedule or demands of the day are not your favorite? Or the amount of work/number of tasks required give you some (or a lot) of anticipatory dread? What can we do when we don’t feel motivated to tackle the bear that day?
I was talking about this concept of motivation with a really good friend of mine who brought up the notion of “seeking inspiration” instead of trying to get motivated. I really loved that thought. This type of mindset shifts the focus away from obligations, where the schedule is dictating to us – I should, I must, I have to. Living toward inspiration puts us back in the driver’s seat for how we engage our lives and what we do throughout those days. So, overcoming inertia through inspiration might be a more inviting, less obligatory way of looking at these things. Two additional thoughts with seeking inspiration:
First, it’s fine if not every day of life is a utopian playground. Bad days, tired days, emotional days, are human. Let go of feeling shame around these days – give yourself the grace others give you. We are not necessarily talking about making these kinds of days to go away, we are talking about how to engage those days to still make something of them when the vibe ain’t vibin’. Some days we won’t find it and that’s fine. We sleep, wake up and go again tomorrow! If there are too many of these in a row, then it might be good to talk to a health care professional.
Second, I think it is important to have more insight about what we are observing – that lack of pep. We can seek to understand the why and the how of our experience – why we might be feeling less than excited for each and every day. Being aware of the causes can help guide discussion about where we might find some solutions. Here are three potential causes and potential shifts in our actions to help ease the strain.
Potential Cause: Overwhelm/Over-commitment
We are sometimes acutely aware of the length of the to-do list, the obligations with school, work, kids, spouse, etc. With every item on the list, we feel the dread build. We are acutely aware of the energy it will take to do all the things, looking at the mountain we have to climb that day and the anticipatory dread is real!!
Potential Solution: Let Values Lead the Way
Be intentional about letting some things go. We should seek to create a vertical list of priorities, not horizontal. We can’t have a priority list that looks like priority 1, priority 1a, priority 1b, etc. We should aspire to a vertical list of priorities, 1, 2 ,3 ,4, etc. Simplify and reduce the load. There are too many balls to juggle, but you can actually choose ahead of time which balls are going to drop. Prioritize which balls to keep in the air based on values – the things that are most important to you (e.g., my kid’s activities, my spouse’s needs, my self-care, etc.) and then align your actions and decisions about time with those values. We can’t do all of the things all of the time. Simplify your focus and lock in to the things that are most important to you. When we reduce the commitment, we are freed up to find inspiration.
Potential Cause: Fatigue
We experience mental and physical exhaustion from being actively engaged in so many things so intensely. Most of us can lock in to being “hair on fire” busy for a day or two, or a week or two, but not months on end. It isn’t sustainable. Sometimes, fatigue is going to be there, no matter how we manage the schedule. Now what?
Potential Solution: Start Moving
I work with pro athletes – physical and mental exhaustion every week during a long season is real. Not every day feels great. Sometimes we have the equation backwards. We are waiting for energy or inspiration to move us and then we start acting. When in reality, if we start acting (especially if our action is based on the values like we talked about above), we find those blips of inspiration that can help us find the course, or path of action for the day. If we commit to just start moving while training, warming up, get moving, then let’s see what happens. Just commit to acting on one thing, and often, when we overcome that inertia, those actions help us find the energy to get another thing done, and then another. Just start acting and see what happens.
Potential Cause: Never Living Up to the Standard
Sometimes our lack of motivation comes from feeling like we try to do so much, and we aren’t doing any of it well. The constant feel of not living up can really start to pull at our desire to engage things – assuming that we won’t be able to do things the way we want to do them, before they even start.
Potential Solution: Relentless > Flawless
In working with athletes, we discuss the fact that in every performance mistakes are going to happen. If we try to do things perfectly, we are going to be crushed by expectation. But if we commit to react relentlessly, we can manage those imperfections with our effort and attitude. In our daily tasks, outcomes aren’t always controllable, but how we engage with situations and tasks is always under our control. We can let go of the notion of having to do it all in the perfect way and engage things undeterred by outcomes being less than perfect. Letting go of that “all or none” thinking (e.g., it must be perfect, or I shouldn’t even do it) can be really helpful for finding inspiration. The store-bought treats at the soccer game will be welcomed and enjoyed. Hamburger Helper gets the job done. Sometimes, we only have 15 minutes to workout. Stay at it. We will remember the commitment and the energy, not the outcomes. If we stay relentless, we don’t have to be perfect. At the end of the day the “good enough approach” will connect us to our world, much more than perfection ever could.
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