Life has its seasons—and not just the ones marked by weather. There are times that we thrive and bloom, and others that are much more challenging, like the chill of a dark winter season. Author and speaker Connie Sokol believes the wintery seasons of life are not something we should not fear or avoid. Instead, they are an essential part of our journey.
The concept of Wintering invites us to view these times not as setbacks, but as opportunities to gain insight and grow stronger. The term Wintering was popularized by Katherine May, the author of Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times. May’s personal experiences shaped her understanding of this concept.
Understanding Wintering
So, what is Wintering, and how can you embrace this concept in your own life? Connie Sokol explained that it’s the process of navigating life’s tougher, slower seasons. It’s the opposite of pushing through adversity with a stiff upper lip and pretending everything is fine. Instead of denying or masking our struggles, Wintering invites us to honor the tough times and allow ourselves the space to heal and emerge stronger. It’s a process of “hibernation” that helps us clear out what no longer serves us, find deeper meaning in the hardship, and come out more grounded and ready for the next season of life. Connie categorized Wintering into three different stages.
Deep Wintering:
This type of Wintering involves extreme hardship—devastating illness, financial difficulties, or emotional shocks that completely upend our world. During these times, it’s necessary to hit the pause button on life. You may feel like your world has stopped, but this stillness is often essential for healing.
Deep Wintering forces us to slow down and face the reality of our situation. We must give ourselves permission to fully process what’s happening and allow for a healing period. However, society often encourages us to hide our struggles or feel embarrassed about needing this time. But as Connie shared, Wintering is not something to be ashamed of; it’s an essential part of the human experience.
One of the best ways to approach Deep Wintering is by creating a Wintering Statement. This is a declaration that acknowledges the difficulty of the season and sets boundaries for yourself and others. For example, “I am going through an extremely difficult season right now, and I’m doing what it takes to get through it. That means I may not be as available, or at my best emotionally, but I’m navigating this in a way that works for myself and my family.”
For those who find themselves in a deep wintering phase, Connie suggests creating a “wintering statement,” which helps to define where you are and how you can move through it. This process is empowering, allowing us to accept and honor the difficult moments. Connie shared an example:
“I am going through an extremely difficult season right now and I’m going to do what it takes to get through it. That means I may not be as available, and not at my best emotionally, but I am navigating it in a way that works for myself and my family.”
Soft Wintering:
Soft Wintering occurs during life transitions. These might include moving to a new city, switching jobs, or facing a shift in personal identity. These changes can be exciting but also overwhelming. We often expect ourselves to immediately adjust and thrive, but Soft Wintering invites us to give ourselves permission to slowly ease into the new phase of life.
One key practice in Soft Wintering is the concept of Savoring and Easing. “Savor what was” means taking time to appreciate what has come before—like cleaning out photos, making a digital frame, or simply reflecting on the positive aspects of the old. “Easing into the new” means allowing ourselves the time and space to adjust, like giving ourselves the whole month of January to thoughtfully approach the new year.
Snowfall Wintering:
This type of wintering addresses the smaller dips we face. These aren’t huge life transitions but are still moments where we need extra care—like a difficult day or feeling under the weather. “It’s more than just lighting a candle or using a bath bomb,” Connie says. Snowfall wintering involves practices like journaling, breathing exercises, nourishing meals, and getting good sleep—small actions that help us reset and recalibrate.
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