Here’s how you can be a “Yes Mom” more often.
Saying “no” can feel like a reflex for many parents—especially moms. But what if a simple shift in language and mindset could transform your home’s energy?
Lisa Andersen, a mother of five and social media advocate for stress-free parenting, shared how to become a “Yes Mom”—one who encourages, uplifts, and still sets boundaries with grace.
The Exhaustion of “No”
Lisa acknowledged the emotional toll of constantly saying no. “You’re not just saying no, it’s not just a word. There’s emotions that come with it—your kids’ emotions… and then you’ve got your own emotions. You feel guilt, you feel, ‘Am I doing the right thing?’” The repetition wears on both parent and child, especially when kids persist despite hearing “no” multiple times. The key, Lisa said, is to understand your own emotional state first.
Step One: Check In With Yourself
Before you can say yes more often, you need to ask: Am I okay? “When we are overwhelmed and exhausted, we say no because we’re just tired and we can’t yes,” Lisa explained. Self-care isn’t selfish—it’s foundational. Rest, support, and mental clarity are essential to creating space for more positive responses.
Step Two: Shift Your Mindset
Summer can bring chaos, but also opportunity. Lisa encouraged moms to reframe their thinking: “If you switch that and you’re like, ‘Okay, I can do this. I’m capable. This is gonna be fun,’ that can do a lot of good.”
She shared a favorite quote from Marjorie Hinckley: “The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache.”
Step Three: Laugh Through the Chaos
Lisa recounted a moment of pure parenting mayhem: one child in a body cast, another stuck in a tree, and a third vomiting on the table—all at once. Instead of breaking down, she laughed. “It just has made it really, really a good memory now because it’s so silly.” Choosing humor over frustration can turn even the wildest moments into cherished memories.
Step Four: Question the “No”
Sometimes “no” is just a default. Lisa suggested asking yourself: Why am I saying no? “If you can push yourself to say yes to those situations instead of no… it helps build trust with your kids,” she said. When children know that “no” comes from a place of reason, not reflex, they’re more likely to accept it.
Step Five: Plan to Say Yes
Being a “Yes Mom” doesn’t mean being spontaneous all the time. Lisa recommended planning ahead: “Give everybody a day… within certain parameters they can choose what we do and the whole family goes along with it.” This approach empowers kids and gives moms control over when and how they say yes.
Step Six: Set Clear Expectations
Lisa’s family uses what they call the “Big Five”—five daily tasks kids must complete before they can ask for privileges. Instead of saying, “No, your room’s not clean,” she says, “Yes, when your Big Five are done.” This subtle shift turns a rejection into a goal, motivating kids while maintaining structure.
The Big 5
- Make bed
- Practice something
- Learn something
- Read
- Chore
Being a “Yes Mom” isn’t about giving in—it’s about being intentional. It’s about creating a home where encouragement, trust, and laughter thrive.
Find more advice from Lisa @justlisaandersen.
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