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3 Ways to Stay in Love With Your Spouse

After the honeymoon is over, when you’re in the thick of marriage, love changes a little bit. It’s not always that butterfly feeling. It turns into something deeper. Some people say they’re afraid of falling out of love, so how do you prevent that? How do you stay in love with your spouse?

Dr. Brian Willoughby, Associate Professor in the School of Family Life at BYU, shares three ways we can keep the flame alive. He shares proactive and reactive ways to strengthen the love in our marriages.

3 Ways to Stay in Love With Your Spouse

Pro-Active: Do the good

1. It’s important for couples to create meaningful rituals in their life. It’s not just about going to dinner on Valentine’s Day. It’s about creating daily, weekly, or monthly rituals that are unique to each couple and create a shared identity.

2. Couples should work each day to increase intimacy in their life. In the academic world, intimacy isn’t just about physical intimacy but about connection. It is important for couples to share emotions, thoughts, and opinions with each other on a regular basis. This prevents them from getting stuck in “maintenance mode” where most of their interaction is about doing tasks (chores, parenting, etc.).

Re-Active: Avoid the bad

3. Couples need to avoid letting “colds” become “pneumonia.” In other words, don’t let little conflicts or problems linger to the point that they become large problems. Find regular time to discuss differences and resolve conflicts.