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Be the one to break the ice. 5 steps to resolve conflict with your spouse

Being the one to resolve conflict can be hard.

It’s that situation where there’s conflict between husband and wife. There’s no resolve, so an awkwardness sets in. You’re not really talking. You’re functioning around each other, but you’re both still annoyed or upset. In these moments, it can be hard to find the internal motivation to “warm things up.” You have to feel kind and forgiving before you can act kind and forgiving.

Studio 5 Marriage Contributor Dr. Liz Hale shares how to be the “icebreaker” instead of the “ice.” She emphasizes that women, in particular, have the power to transform their relationships positively.


How to Be the Icebreaker and Resolve Conflict in Your Marriage

  1. Life Is Too Short: It’s easy to hold onto grudges and prolong conflicts, but Liz reminds us that life is too short to waste on anger. Instead of waiting for your feelings to change, change your behavior first.
  2. A Little Time Off: Space can be healthy during disagreements. Take a little time off, but keep it limited. Remember, it takes about 20 minutes to calm down when you’re emotionally charged.
  3. Count Blessings, Not Blunders: Create a top 10 list of things you love about your partner. Focusing on their positive qualities can shift your perspective away from minor annoyances.
  4. Flash Them: Surprise your partner with unexpected acts of love and affection. Sometimes, a small gesture can have a big impact in melting away tension.
  5. Look with a Lens of Love: See your partner as a precious individual, flaws and all. Keep their baby pictures as a reminder of the innocent soul you fell in love with.

Ultimately, being the icebreaker is a choice, not a feeling. By following these steps, you can foster a more loving and harmonious relationship. After all, love and connection are worth the effort.

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