A big audition can be scary, but parents can boost their kids’ confidence with the right words.
If you’ve got a budding young actor in your family, then you know a big audition can be nerve-wracking for both parents and kids. While it’s normal to want to help take the pressure off, your words of wisdom could actually end up making them even more nervous and uneasy.
Kelly Coombs, an actor and acting and confidence coach, shared a few phrases parents should never say before their kid heads into that audition space.
1. “Are You Ready?”
This phrase may be well-intentioned, but can inadvertently undermine a child’s confidence. Kelly explained, “It internalizes as, ‘Oh no, mom doesn’t think I’m ready.’”
Instead, she suggested saying, “You’ve prepared for this. Just go in there, and I’m proud of your hard work.” This approach focuses on their effort and preparation, promoting a sense of calm and confidence.
2. “Don’t Mess Up”
Even if this phrase is often said in a joking manner, it can create unnecessary pressure by focusing on potential mistakes. Kelly emphasized, “When we focus on the good, the good gets better.”
A better alternative is to remind your child why they love acting. “Remember why you love this,” she advised. This helps them to focus on their passion rather than the fear of failure.
3. “Don’t Be Nervous”
Telling a child not to be nervous invalidates their feelings. “Nerves are normal,” Kelly pointed out.
Instead, she recommended acknowledging their nerves and helping them channel that energy positively. “Channel that nervous energy into excited, grateful energy,” she suggested. This helps kids turn anxiety into enthusiasm.
4. “Don’t Get Your Hopes Up”
While this phrase is an attempt to protect children from disappointment, it can dampen their enthusiasm. Kelly advised parents to focus on the process rather than the outcome. “No matter what happens, I’m proud of your hard work,” she recommended. This encourages children to value their efforts over the results.
5. “You’ve Got This”
Although meant to boost confidence, this phrase can set children up for disappointment if they don’t succeed. Kelly recommended a more balanced approach: “Go in there, do your best, and just have fun. Trust yourself.” This helps children enjoy the experience without the pressure of guaranteed success.
6. “Make Sure You Smile the Whole Time
This is a phrase we often say to our littles. Kelly recommended saying instead, “Show your personality and be yourself!”
We want to make sure they know that there isn’t one perfect way to act. “We want them to see that acting is not about the perfection of it all,” Kelly emphasized.
Choosing the right words before an audition makes a difference in how a child feels and performs. By focusing on effort, passion, and the joy of the process, parents can help their young actors go into a big audition with confidence and enthusiasm. “Our words carry so much weight,” Kelly emphasized. Let’s use them to lift our children up and support their dreams.
Find more of Kelly’s advice on Instagram, @kellyecoombs, or at kellyecoombs.com.
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