Self & Relationship Expert Julie A. Hanks, LCSW, Owner and Director of Wasatch Family Therapy, offers 3 suggestions to help you find strength through the difficult time of a divorce.
Divorce is a time of crisis: “a dangerous opportunity”. It is an opportunity to find out that you’re stronger than you think you are. Though individual circumstances vary greatly from one divorce situation to another, you have a choice in how you respond to divorce. As with all difficult and painful life transitions, this familiar adage applies to divorce “You can become bitter or you can become better.”
Finding Strength Through A Divorce:
1-Redefine
Going through a divorce requires redefinition of yourself, your family, your relationships, your life. It’s a time for honest self-reflection: a time to look inside of yourself and shift your views to accommodate the many life changes you’re going through.
Ask yourself:
Who am I without the marriage and the role of “wife”?
What were my contributions to the demise of the marriage?
What can I learn from this experience that will make me a stronger person?
2-Refocus
Divorce is a time to take inventory of what matters most to you. If you’re children have become less of a priority during the stress of the divorce process, recommit to investing more in your relationship with them. If you’ve given up a hobby or interest during your marriage, pick it up again. If spirituality is important to you, recommit to investing in your connection with God.
Ask yourself:
What aspects of life are most important to me?
What areas of life do I want to focus on now?
Am I investing my time and energy into who and what I value most?
3-Redesign
The end of a relationship that one or both of you didn’t want will free up energy to invest in other parts of your life. Though it’s scary to explore the uncharted territory of life as a single person, try actively taking risks to get out or your comfort zone. A former therapy client decided to go back to school and get her MBA after she divorced, a dream that she’d put on hold when she married.
Ask yourself:
Who do I want to become?
What am I most passionate about?
What are some activities that will get me out of my comfort zone and expose me to new people and experiences?
Self & Relationship Expert Julie de Azevedo Hanks, LCSW, founder and director of Wasatch Family Therapy, LLC specializes in women’s mental health therapy, marriage counseling and family therapy. Visit www.wasatchfamilytherapy.com to learn more about counseling services, workshops, classes. Visit www.juliehanks.com for more inspiration on how to let your best self shine!
If you need help healing from divorce contact the professionals at Wasatch Family Therapy (801) 944-4555 for information on children, teen & adult counseling services.
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