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‘Free time is the best way a child learns.’ Avoid Hurried Child Syndrome in your home

A child learns, not by doing everything, but by having free time.

From school to piano lessons, dance class, and soccer practice, today’s children often have packed schedules. This phenomenon, known as Hurried Child Syndrome, can lead to significant stress and anxiety, potentially affecting children well into adulthood.

Studio 5 Parenting Contributor Heather Johnson shared what Hurried Child Syndrome is, and how we can avoid it in our homes.

 

What is Hurried Child Syndrome?

Hurried Child Syndrome occurs when parents push their children to grow up too quickly by over-scheduling their activities and setting high expectations. This syndrome affects children of all ages, from young kids to teenagers, and even extends to adults.

The Impact on Children

Heather highlighted that children may experience anxiety and depression, as well as physical symptoms like headaches and stomach aches. “We’ve got kids who are worried about doing it perfect and so they’re afraid that they’re always disappointing someone,” she noted. The constant pressure can prevent children from growing at a natural pace, leading to significant stress.

Why Do Parents Push Their Kids?

Parents often have good intentions, wanting to prepare their children for the future. However, their own insecurities and societal pressures can lead to over-scheduling. Heather pointed out, “If you have a thought, for example, that more activities mean more opportunities for your kids, well then you are going to over-schedule them all the time.”

Shifting Focus: From Individual to Family

One solution Heather suggested is shifting the focus from individual accomplishments to family connections. “When we focus on how to build as a family, now we’re focused on connection,” she said. This approach can relieve some of the pressure on children and emphasize the importance of family time over individual achievements.

Redefining Success

Parents need to redefine what success means for their children. Instead of focusing on grades and extracurricular activities, success could be defined by emotional management, playtime, and the ability to navigate boredom. “Imagine if we changed what success meant and it wasn’t that they got straight A’s,” Heather proposed.

Practicing What We Preach

It’s crucial for parents to model the behavior they want to see in their children. If parents are constantly over-scheduled, children will likely follow suit. Heather advised, “We want to make sure we are really, really good role models of what matters and show them what this looks like.”

Embracing Free Time

Free time is essential for children’s development. Despite the societal push for constant activity, Heather emphasized, “Free time is the best way a child learns. It’s the best way they navigate emotions. It’s the best way they learn to connect and develop relationships.”

“Recognize that what our kids do or don’t do is not a reflection on if we love them or if we’re a good enough mother or a good enough father,” Heather emphasized.


To contact Heather for counseling, email blog.familyvolley@gmail.com, or visit www.familyvolley.blogspot.com.

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