Great relationships require sacrifice. 4 ways to show up for your spouse

Both partners have to put in effort for great relationships to flourish.

They say true love is a two-way street. Great relationships require sacrifice and effort from both partners.

Before you call out all of the ways your spouse could give more, Studio 5 Relationship Contributor Dr. Matt Townsend wants you to hold yourself accountable first.

Four Truths to Better Show Up for Your Spouse

Matt shared four truths that can help us better show up for our significant other.

1. No Partner is Perfect Enough: “No partner is perfect enough to absolve you of the growth only you can make,” Matt said. We often wish our partners were so perfect that they would never cause us any discomfort. However, that will never be the case. Matt encouraged individuals to seek out and welcome growth.
2. The Biggest Barriers to Being Loved: “The biggest barriers to being loved are the ones we reactively construct ourselves,” Matt emphasized. Our past experiences often shape our present reactions. If we were bullied as a child, we might have built protective measures that we still use today in our relationships. Matt hopes you’ll uncover those invisible barriers and work to break them down.
3. Meaning and Communication is Mutually Negotiated: “Meaning and communication is mutually negotiated, but not, not just individually stated,” Matt explained. We often think that because we’ve said something, it should be understood. However, communication is not just about saying something; it has to be negotiated. Have a willingness to maturely communicate with your partner.
4. Don’t Let Your Automatic Thoughts Rob You: “Don’t let your automatic thoughts rob you from actually thinking,” Matt said. We often have automatic responses to situations. These automatic thoughts can rob us of the opportunity to actually think and be mindful of our actions and reactions. Matt gave the example of saying, “We’re praying for you.” It’s a beautiful thought, but do you mean it?

Matt’s ‘Becoming One’ program offers education on improving relationships. To learn more, visit matttownsend.com.