For many the idea of having a company or family party does not sound much like a party at all. Instead, it really sounds more like torture. How do you take on the daunting social agenda that accompanies the holidays?
Studio 5 Relationship Coach Matt Townsend shares four sure and easy ways to thrive and survive the holiday party season.
Keep It All in Perspective
Try to remember that nobody invited you to the party to stress you out. They invited you because for some odd reason they either like you, or someone you are married to. Here are a few other things to remember that will help you to keep the entire holiday party scene in perspective.
· Remember that these parties only happen once a year.
· Remember that most of the people around you would also rather be doing something else!
· Remember that there are certain people that think the party you are attending is the best party of the year.
· Remember that how the party really goes is entirely up to you and not what happens to you there.
· Remember that your partner would probably love you to try hard to actually have fun and enjoy yourself.
· Finally, remember that if the party is becoming really stressful for you, you may have a bigger problem than being anti-social.
Remember Most Things Are Better Than You Expect
Many times anxiety comes more from the anticipation of an event not from the reality of what is actually happening during the event. Research shows that most things that people dread, like a trip to the dentist or the chance to speak in public usually turn out to be much more positive and fulfilling that had been anticipated. By remembering that things are not as bad as you tend to make them will give you some hope to go to the social event and know that that it will be much more fulfilling than even you can imagine. When you are feeling anxiety in anticipation of an event, just remind yourself of the simple phrase, “No one ever died at your family party” and don’t add the line, “Even though many wished that they had!”
See Every Event as a Three Act Play
Just because your company party begins at 7pm doesn’t mean that YOUR party has to begin at 7pm. Remember that there every event you attend this holiday season is a three act play; Act 1- The Pre Party, Act 2- The Party and Act 3- The Post Party. If you dread the headache anticipated during your company or family event (Act 2) then make sure you plan a really interesting and/or relaxing Act 1 and Act 3 by creating an interesting pre party and post party events. Perhaps you could get a group of your favorite co-workers and go out to dinner before you hit the company party. You could also make some other plans after the party by staying overnight at a hotel with your spouse or taking the next day off of work to have a “staycation” or to get your shopping done. Sometimes just anticipating the post party plans can make the current situation even easier and you and your spouse can agree to create a stress free afternoon before the company party. By better planning the time you have control over, especially the time before and after the company party, you can take something that may normally generate a stress headache and turn it into something fun and exciting.
The single best way to find joy in social situations is simply to be yourself. Nobody would expect any else from you except to just be YOU! Being you means that you relax and find a way to be at ease with yourself, your surroundings and the people you are with. Get into the event and stop worrying what everyone else is thinking about what you are doing. Let your confidence come from not trying to say the right thing to everyone at the party but by simply being able to be at ease with yourself. While you are at the party be present, relax and find the fun in the moment. Lose yourself by asking others about their life and remember that most people love to talk about themselves so let them have at it! The reason you were invited to the party is because it wouldn’t have been the same without you, so make sure “you” appear!
To schedule a free coaching session with relationship assessment, go to www.matttownsend.com, or call: 801-747-2121