Studio 5 Relationship Coach Matt Townsend helps us learn how to get inside their heads and make them want to be involved.
• Understand why they’re not more involved
o Everybody is motivated for different reasons and in different ways. If one of your family members doesn’t want to participate more fully in family activities then there is probably a reason. One of the healthiest ways to try to motivate another person is to get into them and understand what drives them the most.
• Find what they do best
o Most people like to do what they excel at so find a way for them to be involved that allows them to participate in areas where they excel. Tell this person what they do well and how their involvement will not only build their talents but also help them to share their talents with others. Tell them that your family needs to see those talents.
• Behind the scenes is just as valuable as in front of the scenes
o Some people, no matter what, just don’t feel comfortable being put in the spotlight and would rather not have such pressure put on them. If that is the case then find a way to have them to help without all the fanfare.
• Ask them for a favor
o Some people will serve in some way even when they don’t want to be highly involved. Service is a great way to get more people helping that wouldn’t normally do it. Invite them to participate as a simple act of service for you and nothing more. Don’t guilt or manipulate, just ask them for the favor and move on.
• Love them anyway!
o Don’t make a person’s involvement a prerequisite for your love. Share with your kids and grandkids, or whomever, that you love them regardless of their involvement and that you only want them involved so you can be around them more.
For more information, you can contact Matt at www.marriagemattersutah.com.
He also conducts marriage communication workshops:
An Evening with Matt Townsend
Saturday, August 1
7pm to 9pm
$20 per couple
Location: Noah’s in South Jordan
Call to register at 801-747-2121
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