If I Play by the Rules, Do I Win?

Growing up I was taught numerous rules by my parents and teachers. Rules and guidelines keep us safe, teach us to be polite and help us to navigate our way through life. During childhood, I learned three rules. Honesty is the best policy, you can’t always have what you want, and the highest score wins. Throughout the years, my perspective of these rules has changed. Why?

First, let’s look at the definition of perspective. Perspective is defined as your point of view or the choice of context for opinions, beliefs and experiences. In other words, it’s your idea or viewpoint about something based on your opinions, beliefs and experiences. As an adult, my perspective is different about these three rules, because my opinions, beliefs and experiences have changed over the years.

Now, let’s take a closer look at these so-called rules I was taught as a child and my perspective on them today.

Honesty is the best policy. Be honest with yourself about your feelings, needs and motives. Often we put ourselves on the ‘back burner’ while we tend to everyone else’s needs. This is not wise or healthy. Take time for you, recognize that your feelings are important and learn to advocate for yourself. Speak up for what you want and what is important to you. The bottom line is, you must be honest with yourself before you can be honest with others. Honesty is the best policy.

You can’t always have what you want. Why not? In a lot of ways you can and clarity is the key. Be clear about what you want and how you can attain it. Create a plan that is realistic, works for you and does not compromise your integrity. Remember timing is everything. Perhaps you can’t have it all right now, but you can have what you want if your goal is realistic and you are willing to work for it. Hard work is a strong predictor of happiness. So go for it!

The highest score wins. It depends on the game you are playing. If you are a fan of tennis or basketball then yes, high score wins. If golf is your game then no, high score does not win. Playing the game is more important than winning the game. Change your perspective about winning in life. It’s not about the competition. Be grateful for the opportunity to be a participant. Staying in the race is the key. Crossing the finish line first does not always make you the winner.

If I play by the rules, do I win? Yes, if you are playing the correct game. Life offers us a smorgasbord of positive options. Deciding which choice is right for you at specific times in your life might be the challenge. Avoid being impulsive or emotional when it comes to making decisions. Look at all possible options and go with the right choice not the good choice. If that choice proves to be wrong, it’s Okay to choose again. Do not look at incorrect choices as failures. They are opportunities to learn, grow and to feel capable. Remember, it is about perspective and recognizing there are lessons to be learned through the process of living each day.