Holiday grief can be hard to push through.
The holidays are often seen as a time of joy, but they can also bring a sense of grief for those mourning the loss of a loved one.
Studio 5 Parenting Contributor Heather Johnson shared how to navigate this tender time, offering comfort to those with heavy hearts.
The Challenge of Holiday Grief
Heather explained that the holidays are deeply rooted in relationships and memories, which can make the absence of loved ones even more poignant. She emphasized how the season’s focus on connection and love can highlight the void left by those who have passed away.
Understanding Grief and Mourning
Heather distinguished between grief and mourning, explaining that grief is the internal pain we feel, while mourning involves outward expressions of that pain. She shared a personal anecdote about how a Christmas song triggered memories of her grandmother, illustrating the spontaneous nature of grief. “Grief has that spontaneity to it,” she said, contrasting it with the more structured nature of mourning.
Acknowledging the Pain
One of the first steps in adapting to holiday grief is acknowledging the pain. Heather stressed the importance of recognizing that love does not disappear with death. “Love remains even when there’s a death,” she reminded us, encouraging people to accept and express their feelings openly.
Don’t Cancel the Holidays
Heather advised against canceling holiday celebrations altogether, suggesting instead to make modifications that allow for participation. “The healing happens in allowing ourselves to still work to have those special events,” she said.
Remembering Why We Hurt
Heather emphasized the significance of remembering the deep attachments we had with our loved ones. “The pain is there because the love was so great,” she explained, urging people to focus on the gratitude for the relationships they once had.
Asking the Important Question
Heather proposed a key question to help navigate grief: “How can I continue to have a relationship with my loved one, even though they’re not here physically?” This question helps address both the internal pain of grief and the outward expressions of mourning. For Heather, this meant continuing the tradition of making caramels like she used to with her grandmother.
Serving Others
Finally, Heather highlighted the healing power of serving others. By contributing outwardly, we can heal internally. “When we serve others, we heal through contributions,” she said, noting how service can extend the qualities of kindness and generosity instilled by our loved ones.
To contact Heather for counseling, email blog.familyvolley@gmail.com, or visit www.familyvolley.blogspot.com.
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