Over Scheduled Families: Examining Your Motives

DeAnne Flynn, author of “The Time-Starved Family” shares her advice for examining your motives.

Examine Your Motives:

Theory #1:

One or both parents have some unfinished business from their own childhood, so they relive or redo through their children.

Theory #2:

Many parents are just trying to keep up with the Jones family and don’t want their children to miss out or get behind the pack.

Theory #3:
Many parents want their children to be well rounded and have a variety of skills and experiences.

Theory #4:

Many parents are trying to keep their kids active, productive, and out of trouble.

Theory #5:

Parents may desire to instill self-confidence in their child, so they try to find individual or unique talents that will set that child apart.

Theory #6:

Most parents feel a need for discipline and character development in their child.

Theory #7:

Some parents are just competitive by nature and want their kids to simply be and have “the best.” They often view their children as trophies.

Theory #8:

Some parents have an overall plan for their child’s future that includes developing a specific talent.

Theory #9:

Often kids and parents seek social interaction through activities with current friends or with other motivated kids.

What’s Your Motivation?

Being a good parent requires constant thought and reevaluation. Before our children take on new activities or commitments, we might ask ourselves these kinds of questions:

• “Who will my child be rubbing shoulders with at this activity?”

(Will there be other peers with high standards?)

• “What will he or she gain from having this experience?”
(Is it essential?)

• “Where will I need to drive my child, and how often?”
(What are the transportation considerations?)

• “When will the commitment or activity end?”
(Can you finish what you start?)

• “Why shouldn’t I let my child participate?”
(Are there any red flags on the horizon?)

DeAnne Flynn is the mother of seven active children, ages 5 to 18.