DeAnne Flynn, author of “The Time-Starved Family” shares her advice for examining your motives.
Examine Your Motives:
One or both parents have some unfinished business from their own childhood, so they relive or redo through their children.
Many parents are just trying to keep up with the Jones family and don’t want their children to miss out or get behind the pack.
Many parents want their children to be well rounded and have a variety of skills and experiences.
Many parents are trying to keep their kids active, productive, and out of trouble.
Parents may desire to instill self-confidence in their child, so they try to find individual or unique talents that will set that child apart.
Most parents feel a need for discipline and character development in their child.
Some parents are just competitive by nature and want their kids to simply be and have “the best.” They often view their children as trophies.
Some parents have an overall plan for their child’s future that includes developing a specific talent.
Often kids and parents seek social interaction through activities with current friends or with other motivated kids.
What’s Your Motivation?
Being a good parent requires constant thought and reevaluation. Before our children take on new activities or commitments, we might ask ourselves these kinds of questions:
• “Who will my child be rubbing shoulders with at this activity?”
(Will there be other peers with high standards?)
• “What will he or she gain from having this experience?”
(Is it essential?)
• “Where will I need to drive my child, and how often?”
(What are the transportation considerations?)
• “When will the commitment or activity end?”
(Can you finish what you start?)
• “Why shouldn’t I let my child participate?”
(Are there any red flags on the horizon?)
DeAnne Flynn is the mother of seven active children, ages 5 to 18.
Her new book, “The Time-Starved Family”, is available at Deseret Book, deseretbook.com and wherever good books are sold.