Here’s how we can help lift each other’s parenting burdens.
It’s a headline that caught our attention – and likely yours. The U.S. Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek Murthy, claims parenting can be hazardous to your health. Hazardous to your health due to the extreme stress the modern-day parent is experiencing. He believes the economic state of our nation, the influence of social media, the mental health crisis among youth, and personal parenting expectations are all contributing factors to growing stress and anxiety among parents.
Simply put, Dr. Murthy believes parents and caregivers are facing more than they can handle with little support. In his advisory, he wrote, “Chasing these unreasonable expectations has left many families feeling exhausted, burned out, and perpetually behind.” But he says there are solutions, and he put out a call to action. He believes if people, parents, and communities act now, we can work together to lift each other’s burdens.
Studio 5 Parenting Contributor Heather Johnson shared her thoughts on the news.
The Mixed Bag of Emotions
Heather shared her initial reaction, “There’s this mixed bag. You’ve got this frustration on one side because parents have been screaming this for a really long time. For a very long time, they’ve been saying this is overwhelming. Then on the other side, feeling validated. It’s not just me. It is okay that it is hard.”
Recognizing Parenting as Sacred Work
Dr. Murthy’s statement also highlighted the sacredness of parenting. “Raising children is sacred work and it should matter to all of us,” he wrote.
Heather responded, “If you look at sacredness, it means that there is some sort of connection or devotion to God, to a higher power. When we look at what sacred means, we often use the word sacred with the word consecrated, where something has been essentially set apart for a specific purpose. It would be pretty amazing if every day, as we parent, we would remember that it is a sacred work.”
The Impact of Technology and Social Media
Dr. Murthy pointed out that nearly 70 percent of parents say parenting is now more difficult than it was 20 years ago, with children’s use of technology and social media as the top two cited causes.
Heather agreed, but also prefaced, “we have different challenges. If I look at great-great-grandparents, they were struggling for shelter and food. We’ve got different challenges here. It’s more important that as parents we blaze this trail and go with these new challenges.”
The Loneliness Epidemic
Dr. Murthy also highlighted the external feeling of loneliness that many parents experience. 65% of parents and guardians and 77% percent of single parents, in particular, experience loneliness.
Heather explained, “There are so many opportunities in parenting to actually feel lonely. You can be in a marriage and have a partner who’s parenting with you and feel like you are on very different pages. You could be a parent who is carrying the majority of the load and you would feel lonely. You could be a single mother or a single father who is literally shouldering the load and feel lonely.” Both Heather, and Dr. Murthy, emphasized the importance of finding a community of other parents to connect with.
Solutions and Moving Forward
Heather emphasized the importance of managing emotions, “If there is one single place to put your energy, it is in learning to manage your own emotions. This is twofold. This is us learning to manage our own emotions, which means we have to be very self-reflective. We have to be open enough to look at ourselves and recognize where our emotions are coming from. Even more, we have to figure out how to negotiate them so that no matter what shows up, whether it’s financial strain or school strain with a child, whatever it might be, that we can manage the emotions we experience so we can actually see what the situation needs.”
Parenting is undeniably challenging but recognizing it as sacred work and managing our emotions can help us navigate this journey with hope and grace. As Heather beautifully put it, “No matter the day, no matter the challenge, no matter what you’re facing, we can be filled with the humility, gratitude, hope and grace. Remember that either way – we’re okay.”
To contact Heather for counseling, email blog.familyvolley@gmail.com, or visit www.familyvolley.blogspot.com.
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