Putting Passion Back into Marriage: Viewer Comments

My husband and I are both American, but we met in South Korea. One way we keep our passion for each other alive is to keep our love of Asia alive. We go out to Korean food, speak Korean to each other and tell each other stories of when we were there. It is something special that we share that not many people have in common! We hope to take a trip back to Korea someday. I think the key to a good marriage is to find something that is just the two of yours….something that you can laugh about, whisper about, and love together.

–Becca Wood

Last Valentine’s Day, I made my own “conversation hearts” out of red, white and pink construction paper. I taped in our bedroom (mine and my husbands) a giant heart made out of a red poster board that said “101 REASONS WHY I LOVE YOU.” I then taped all of the 101 smaller hearts around the room with 101 things I love about my husband such as “your blue eyes” or “when you help me with the dishes” or “sweet,” etc… He LOVED it! He still has all of the 101 hearts in a small box.

–Melissa Snedaker

My husband and I have been married for 8 1/2 years and have had our challenges in getting those moments for passion in our marriage. Something that brought passion back for us is…

This past year, we saved up a little money and took a three day/two night getaway to a small town, just an hour and a half away, free from city distractions. We stayed at a Bed and Breakfast Inn. It was lovely and the mountainscape environment was beautiful. Due to the lack of distractions and it being just the two of us, we were able to spend some great quality time together. We went out on a lake in a paddleboat, walked around the countryside, took some pictures with the beautiful scenery, watched the sunset from the gazebo, lounged on our private balcony (listening to the waterfall below), and we even brought some of our favorite games to play together. It was very refreshing and renewed our passion for those things we love to do together and let us reflect on those things we love.
Sometimes you just have to get away and this was great proof for us.

–Dia Beck

My husband and I have found more passion in our marriage when we are supportive of each others interests. My husband loves playing softball and loves to have me come support him at the games. He will go along shopping with me even though walking the mall isn’t his favorite thing to do. Knowing that it will make the other person happy, we are supportive of something the other loves to do and this strengthens our relationship.

–Heather Lyman

One way we bring passion back into our marriage is by going on a honeymoon every year, even if its just for one night, even if its just to a local bed and breakfast. To get away from everything and make amazing memories renews our love.

Another way we bring passion into our marriage is by learning new skills together. Recently my husband has been teaching me to play the guitar. It gives him a chance to enjoy one of his passions and lets me share in it too.

–Sarah Draper

Create a special book. Everyday for a year write down something good that the person you love did each day. This is priceless.

-Kristi Gomez

When my husband and I were dating, we always looked forward to Friday nights. He’s an amazing planner, and would usually out-do himself weekly with fun-filled and inexpensive ways to show me a GREAT time. After we got married and had our kids, we struggled to do “date night” with the constraints of small kids, nursing, bedtimes, babysitter costs, sheer exhaustion, etc.

We brainstormed and have come up with a happy solution, which we’ve been enjoying for several weeks now! We’re simply having a date at home that has more structure and planning than an ordinary evening together. We make a plan to get the kids to bed at 8:00PM, clean up the house and then “go out” on a date. We’ll play a game, rent/checkout a movie or have another couple over, make a special treat, etc. I find the nicest thing is to have something specific to look forward to – a plan, so that we don’t end up just surfing the TV channels until bedtime, and it’s really helped put the passion back into our marriage. YAY INDOOR DATING! 🙂

–Amy Paulsen

One year I put together a video of our married life by scanning in pictures we had taken, at that time it was 10 years. I added it onto the end of the video we had at our wedding. I reserved a room a the anniversary inn in Logan (one with a wall projector). This was all a surprise. We arrived (to go on a tour he thought), checked in, and then when I pulled out the video he thought it was a great idea to watch our “wedding video”. Little did he know it wasn’t just our wedding video anymore. As we watched this video together our hearts soured! With tears rolling down our cheeks we watched our lives together unfold before our eyes, birth of children, graduation from college, vacations, homes, holidays, events, etc. It was absolutely moving and brought us so much closer together. I think we tend to forget all the experiences that bought us to the point in life we are at. Anytime we are filling less passionate in our lives we pull out this video, snuggle together and remember all the wonderful experiences we have had together!

–the Hogge family

One thing that me and my husband do every month is two things, first we get money (what ever fixes in our budget) so we take out $20 dollars at of our budget every month and we both get $10 dollar’s a pieces. We can use it for whatever we want to buy or save it for something big that we want.

Second, me and my husband give a small gift to each other once a month. So it a big surprise what they come up with. One thing that my husband gave to me was a letter telling me how much he loved me and what I do for him everyday.
This has worked for us and it’s helped our marriage out a lot.

–Mary Ann Blake

A few years ago I wanted to come up with ways to add spice to my marriage. I came up with some spouse spice jars. I have a jar and my husband has a jar. Inside the jar are 52 slips of paper that have ideas of things to do for your spouse. Sometime during the week each partner draws a slip of paper and then does what it says. For example: Write him notes and leave them all over the house, or find a creative way to say I love you every day this week. My husband recently drew this out and I woke up to all the silverware in our house on our counter spelling out I love you.

We really enjoy these jars because they are a reminder to do something thoughtful for each other each week. We both know that we will be doing something nice each week it adds a little spice to our marriage.

-Mitzi Deeter

For more details on Mitzi’s spouse spice jar visit: http://www.mitzfamilybitz.com/id28.html

My name is Megan Carpenter and my husband Kevin and I have been married for almost 10 years. We have had a few pit falls along the way through life together where “passion” just didn’t seem to matter anymore. I’m not saying that I’m an expert in marriage by any means, but I feel that we have found some special ways to keep our passion in our marriage alive. Every once in a while we will put post-it notes in places where the other person will see them letting that person know how much we love and appreciate everything that person does to make our life a little easier. Every Saturday night we go to our local Red Box and rent a movie for just a buck, and when we get our daughter to bed we watch a new release without spending all of the money to go see a movie at the theater. We also try to turn the TV off more and just talk. We don’t have to have anything specific to talk about, but it’s nice to hold each other and talk about our goals or even what happened that day while we were away from each other. We love to flirt with one another, we hold hands while we are driving in the car or sitting on the couch, my hunny will still open the car door for me, and we just like to spend time as a family playing on the floor with our 2 year old daughter. We will sometimes call each other during the day just to say I love you and that I’m thinking about you. There have been on several occasions where we will get family to take our daughter over night so that we can go out of town as a couple, or stay home and act like we did before we had kids.

That really helps us realize how important it is for us to make sure that we are still friends that have some of the same interests, so that when our children grow and move out of the house, it won’t feel like we are strangers co-existing together.

To me it’s the small things that make the biggest impact on the passion in our marriage. No, my husband doesn’t have to come home with a dozen roses and a box of candy to let me know that he loves me. You know the saying, “Actions speak louder than words.” My hunny shows me that he loves me by being there for me when I need a friend, playing or reading to our daughter, or by coming up to me and giving me a hug and a kiss.
I know that by doing these small and simple things, it would make the other person happy, thus making us happier as a couple.

In closing I have to say that I’m sorry that I’ve gone on and on about the things that my hunny and I do to keep our passion alive, but there are so many things that I love about my best friend that I wanted to share them with you. Also, I’m not going to lie, I would really like to win one of the gift baskets. I think that would be the perfect gift that I could give my friend this Valentine’s day. He is so compassionate, caring, forgiving, and hard working, and I think that no one deserves it more than him!

–Megan Carpenter

We try to keep passion alive in our marriage by doing the small things everyday with little surprises along the way. One example of this is the last couple of years I have been doing “The 14 days of VALENTINE’S” for my husband. I got this idea from a friend and have made it a tradition for my husband because I absolutely love it. Every day in February up to the 14th, I give him something a little extra special that makes him feel of my deep love for him. I have been doing this for two years now and this year I even wrote a song (based on the twelve days of Christmas of course) to go with my little gifts. Some of the gifts include a special valentine dinner with heart ice cubes in his glass of water, love letters and cards, a heart attack with hearts of all the things I love about him, pictures of us together, making his favorite dinner or treat, and so on. On the 14th day, Valentine’s Day, I give him his main valentine gift. He loves to be surprised each day and I love thinking up and putting together the gifts. When I write these letters or all the things I love about him, it really helps me remember why I feel in love with him as well as helps me see how much I have grown more in love with him in the few years we have been married. I have really come to realize how important it is to take time out for your spouse and keep the passion in marriage by doing little things along the way, especially since we recently had a baby and I realized how much of my attention and time she takes. My husband and I do not let a day go by without saying the words “I love you” to each other. I think that is incredibly important!

Click here to view the “14 Days of Valentines”.

–Becca Grover

I was watching your show today and that got me to thinking about what my husband and I do to say I love you. One that really came to mind is the simple phrase that the person who married us told us. He said, “Just don’t forget the little things”. I find myself doing things like cleaning the house for my husband so he doesn’t have to. And on other occasions I find that he has cleaned the house so that I don’t have to if I am not feeling good or something. One more thing I thought of is just leaving little notes around the house to each other….I just recently wrote “I love you” on a napkin before I put it in his lunch. I just have found that it really is just all of the little things that really count. I also was just wondering if you had any suggestions to a really cheap way to celebrate Valentines day. My husband and I don’t have very much money but we still would love to just do something for each other do you have any suggestions?

—JoHanna Muhlestein

My husband and I are sure to spend time together. We enjoy meeting for lunch on a weekday, and taking evening walks together to talk. I have also noticed that the more romantic gestures I show him, the more he shows me in return. If I start writing him notes of appreciation, I usually receive some in return.

–Sarah Smith

Me and my husband have been married for 8 years now. We always have had fun doing things together. I think after having kids and work sometimes every day life seems like a routine. I definitely did not want to have a marriage based on routine so when we started arguing more and more, I didn’t know why it was happening. It seemed that we were constantly feeling tired or stressed from work. Now I’m not working, only him. We both realized there was a problem. Everything started to change from not saying anything much after he got back from work or being irritable to greeting each other, asking how the day was or just a simple smile.

Today it all feels better, we talk about things that come up, we go out to eat, even holding hands in the car, watching TV as a family, etc. The key has been communication, and we still keep our passion for love. When we can, we leave the kids with the grandparents and go on a date. This really helps, I love it!

–Lisa Perez

My husband is everything but romantic so, a couple months ago while at Seagull Book, I found “365 Ways to Say I Love You”. It is a small desk calender and every day it gives an idea of a way to say ‘I Love You’ to someone. While my husband laughed at it when I gave it to him, there are some really great creative and youthful ways to bring the spark back a little to a relationship or marriage.

Here are some ideas it gives:

• Write “I Love You” in chalk on the driveway

• Purchase glow-in-the-dark stars and arrange them on the ceiling over you bed to read “I Love You”. When the lights are turned off, your surprise will be discovered.

• Fly kites together.

• Always remember why you fell in love and remind each other often.
And so on. It’s really great for those less-than-romantics that just need a boost in creative ideas.

–Corby Adams

I have been married almost 5 years. We have two children. Beginning this October my husband has had constant back pain. We began to stop focusing on “us” and instead got caught up in the doctor visits, managing his pain, and taking care of the kids. We began to notice our separation. To fix this we started taking time for each other. We put the kids to bed and watch a movie together or we will just talk about what is happening in our lives, thoughts, or feelings. Focusing on each other and our relationship doesn’t just happen. We have to take time out for each other to continue to build the love in our relationship.

–Danielle Hansen

In 2006 me and my husband seemed to be getting distant. We don’t live in the Salt Lake area but we were coming for a week to visit our families. We decided we wanted to do something fun. It was november and I love amusement rides so we decided to go to Hollywood Connection. You wouldn’t think that would bring passion back but in to your life but in reality we were on every ride together and touching the whole time, and also they have roller skating there you can go around for hours and hours and holding hands the whole time.

One year my sister asked me to make a really, really big heart shaped cookie and she gave that to her husband. And one year, my husband went and got me a whole bunch of stuffed toys and flowers and candy and covered my desk with them before I got to work. That was fun.

–Melissa Reynolds

We moved to Utah almost a year ago and thus lost having Grandma close to baby sit occasionally and good friends that we would baby sit swap with. After having been here for about six months, I could see how much my husband needed some alone time and a chance to get out. I then approached my sister who lives about 40 minutes away with an idea. We each have younger kids that are about the same age and they love to play together. So each month (approx.) we have a cousin sleepover. This allows the free couple to go out as late as they want and the kids are excited because they get a sleepover at their cousins house (it’s a win-win). It’s great for us, because we can stay at home in a quiet house playing games and relaxing, or we go out and don’t have to worry about the time. I’m not sure who enjoys it more – the kids or the adults, but one thing is for sure – it has been great for everyone.

–Kellie Stucki

We have brought passion back into our marriage by instituting “date night” once a week.
We found that we were losing our passion because our marriage sort of went to the back burner due to children, work stress and just everyday things. We were in a rut.

So a few months ago, we decided to start a date night. One night a week for just us. No kids, no talking about work, no talking about other home issues. Just a night to spend together reminiscing and sharing memories. Discovering in each other the reasons we fell in love.

Nothing fancy, just a night at home alone and send the kids to bed early. Maybe make a meal that is special to us. Sometimes we just share a pint of ice cream while sitting on the couch in front of the fire. Just as long as we have time set aside for us to be together without the distractions of everyday life. It truly has made such a difference in our marriage and it’s only getting better.

–Karin Vercella

My husband works out of state, so each day I make it a point for him to have a message at the office and on his cell phone about how much I love and miss him.I make a basket with his favorite candy and cookies each month and send it to him. This Valentines I made a kiss and hug tree for him. He takes a kiss each morning and a kiss and hug before he goes to bed.

—Georgia Russell

I like to surprise my husband by going to his work and sticking something fun or yummy in his car for him to find after a long, stressful day at the office. It puts a smile on his face and helps him remember how much I love and appreciate him and he knows that I have been thinking about him.

–Devri Granados

I brought passion back into my marriage with a new haircut! As a busy mother of 2, I did the typical thing of letting my hair get stuck in the same old style. Recently I had it cut and colored. My husband loved it and we went on a date for the first time in a long time!

—Mrs. Roy Harrison

My husband and I send sweet little messages to each other by text message or email through out the day. It really works to rekindle the flame.

—Joy Smith

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