Relationship RX: How to Get the Spice Back

Author Lindsey K. Rietzsch shares tips for getting out of a relationship rut. Her book, How to Date Your Spouse has over 50 creative date ideas, plus new perspective on the topic of marriage improvement.

1. Always Put Your Best Foot Forward

Remember how exciting everything was when you first began dating? You and your “spouse-to -be” were always on your best behavior and always looking for ways to stay on cloud nine. Your manners were superb and you tried anything and everything to impress him/her. Things should not be any different now. Your spouse will still feel special when you make an effort to clean the car before a romantic night on the town. Dress up, take time when getting ready and planning your dates. Hold your spouse’s hand, plan a surprise that you know will make him/her smile. When the date begins leave behind any baggage from your busy day and focus on your spouse. Bring along a camera and take pictures. Be proud to be seen with your spouse and make every moment count. By making your spouse feel important and special, the results will be anything but disappointing come lights out!

2. Work at Winning Love through Simple Acts and Service

Flowers, cards, and small acts of kindness seem to go hand in hand with courtship. The thrill of an unexpected gift delivered to the door or a surprise letter of heartfelt love found on the seat of your car, will always rekindle passionate feelings for your significant other. For some reason it was much easier to remember this back when we were trying to “win” our sweetheart’s love. An important rule of thumb to remember; “a win is never final”. Yes, each day is a new day and you start from scratch the minute you roll out of bed. Whether you are in your second year or 42nd year of marriage, treat your spouse like you did when you first began dating. Each day look for ways to make your spouse’s life a bit easier and surprise him/her often with small gifts, sentimental moments, and expressions of love. Make this a habit, and you’ll reap the rewards of a fulfilling marriage. Remember the rewards for winning are worth every bit of effort!

3. Know and Appreciate Who Your Spouse is today

Change is a good thing! We all change over time in one way or another. Instead of saying, “My spouse was a different person before we were married. I miss that person.” try to get to know and appreciate who your spouse is today. Those athlete days may be over but that doesn’t mean your love has to be over. Don’t look for flaws or aspects you loved about your spouse that seemed to have disappeared. Start looking for current aspects about your spouse that you or others admire. What makes your husband so great at his job or why is it that your wife puts herself last to make sure everyone else’s needs are being met? Start verbally expressing appreciation towards your spouse and he/she will begin to return the favor.

4. Earn Interest by Expressing Interest in Your Spouse!

Everyone loves that feeling of being admired, especially by the person you are head over heels for. Before you were married you were extremely interested in every part of your sweetheart’s life. What were his talents, who were her friends, where did he work, what were her favorite pastimes? There was something so exciting about unfolding these mysteries. When she was sad you wanted to know why. When he was excited you wanted all the details. It was this interest in each other’s lives that created bonding experiences and connected the two of you together.

As you continue to date your spouse now, think of new questions to ask him/her. If you happen to revisit old topics or repeated stories listen as though you are hearing the story or discussing the topic for the first time. Spend time with your spouse doing the things he/she loves to do. This will help you learn more about your spouse and why he/she loves to do these things. Try to see things from his/her perspective as often as possible. By stepping into your spouse’s world and expressing excitement or curiosity about they things he/she is passionate about, your spouse will develop a strong interest in your world as well.

5. Put Yourself in New Environments and Unexpected Situations

Yes, this is why dating is so important. Going on dates allows the opportunity for the two of you to be in new and different environments. Don’t repeat the same dates or visit the same restaurants. Be spontaneous and change things up a bit. This will spark new ideas and conversation topics. How to Date Your Spouse offers over 50 creative date ideas that are perfect for creating new experiences!

Here is a great idea for the couple that feels they know their spouse all too well and have lost interest in each other. Make a list of unique questions such as “If you had to change your name for a day what would it be and why?” Unusual questions such as these will help you learn new things about your spouse and spark up fun conversations. Bring these questions on your date and get them out during dinner, while you are waiting for your food. You’ll have a blast. It’s all about having fun and loosening up!

6. Get over Babysitter Block

Don’t have a reliable babysitter? No problem. There are plenty of solutions for this common roadblock to dating. How to Date Your Spouse offers details on how to form a guaranteed babysitter system that won’t cost a penny! Also, consider dates that include the kids. You can still have a great time and get to know your spouse while children are present. It’s all about the right kind of date!

For an autographed copy of How to Date Your Spouse and to learn more about author Lindsey K. Rietzsch and upcoming events visit:

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