Laura Brotherson is a marriage and family life educator and also the author of a groundbreaking book on intimacy entitled, And They Were Not Ashamed – Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment. She shares the secrets of sexually satisfied wives.
Women have incredible sexual potential. Female sexuality has traditionally been minimized, but for the benefit of one’s wholeness, and for the strength of one’s marriage, an awakening of one’s sexuality within marriage becomes vital.
Sexual satisfaction may seem unimportant to the wife who has not yet made it a priority. Nevertheless, sexual development in marriage goes to the heart of one’s wholeness and personal development. It ultimately allows for the ecstasy of mutual enjoyment in marriage. This is God’s intended gift.
In order to empower women to reap the blessings of sexual wholeness and marital oneness, we must know what it is we are working toward. What are the secrets of sexually satisfied wives? If it is our intention to become sexually whole in our marriages, what are the characteristics of a sexually satisfied wife that we too can develop?
1. Embraces sexuality. The sexually satisfied wife embraces and takes responsibility for her sexuality. She makes it a priority. She sees her sexuality as good and important not only for her marriage, but also as an important part of her beingness. She has learned to find pleasure in the physicalness of the sexual dimension of marriage.
2. Nurtures the relationship. She nurtures the relationship with her spouse, and willingly addresses issues as they arise, so that they don’t grow and fester. She understands that how connected she feels emotionally towards her spouse affects how she feels sexually. She does what she needs to nurture feelings of love and friendship.
3. Overcomes inhibitions. She works to overcome the inhibiting beliefs and barriers that may keep her from enjoying the sexual relationship with her husband. She works to reprogram those thoughts and beliefs that are counterproductive to feelings of emotional connection and sexual arousal.
4. Nurtures sexual feelings. She makes it a priority to nurture sexual thoughts and feelings towards her spouse. She understands that with her unique wiring, sexual feelings and desires are more consciously acquired.
5. Sexually educated. She willingly takes an active role in getting educated about this dimension of marriage. She understands and accepts the differences in sexual wiring between herself and her husband, as well as the differing paths to arousal each may experience.
6. Makes peace with her body. Sexually satisfied wives make peace with their body and appearance, but also do what they can to look their best. They put effort into their health and appearance through exercise, eating healthly, getting enough sleep, and dressing attractively. They make the best of what they have. They also accept that there are some things they can’t change about their appearance, and have learned to be okay with it.
7. Is fun and playful. The sexually satisfied wife maintains an element of fun and playfulness in the relationship. Even amidst the demands of life, she makes the effort to tease and be playful with her husband. They know each other well, and enjoy each other’s presence.
8. Knows what she needs. She spends time learning and practicing together with her husband until they have identified what turns her on, and what kind of stimulation she needs to regularly experience orgasm.
9. Communicates. She’s learned to communicate with her husband without being reactive, so that delicate subjects such as sex can be discussed. She’s willing to ask questions and shares personal preferences to help her husband learn how to sexually engage and excite her.
10. Likes to touch. She likes to touch. Sexually satisfied wives see to it that there is plenty of touching going on in their marriage. She takes responsibility, if need be, to see that there is enough non-sexual touch and affection outside the bedroom as well as within.
11. Surrenders to the passion. She’s learned how to relax and let go within lovemaking. She is willing and able to surrender to the all-encompassing experience of sexual pleasure, and is in tune with her sensuousness. While it may seem paradoxical, the sexually satisfied wife not only surrenders herself to the sensual experience, but she also actively engages in experiencing and expressing her passion.
12. Takes responsibility for self. The sexually satisfied wife takes responsibility for her happiness and well-being, and keeps her focus on things she can do to improve the marriage and sexual relationship. She knows that how she feels about herself affects how she feels sexually. She is regularly working on aspects of herself that she’d like to change, which keeps her from getting caught up in trying to change her spouse.
These secrets of sexually satisfied wives can show us how we too can be empowered to experience and enjoy sexual wholeness and the sexual potential God created in marriage.
Laura M. Brotherson is the author of a groundbreaking book on sexual intimacy and marital oneness entitled, And They Were Not Ashamed—Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment. Laura shares her passion for building strong marriages and families as an author, intimacy educator and relationship consultant.
Visit her website www.StrengtheningMarriage.com to learn more and to sign up for her “Straight Talk about Strengthening Marriage” newsletter.