Hey moms, your daughters are listening and watching and they want to
connect with you! Author Vikki Carrel, explains how to create a strong
mother daughter connection.
Why is the mother daughter connection important?
According to the latest research the mother/daughter connection
-is vital to a girls physical and emotional health
-influences thriving conditions for girls: confidence, competence,
connection, caring and contribution
-prevents alcohol, drug use and risky sexual behavior
-clears up confusing messages about girls’ bodies and abilities
Mothers play a key role in developing a successful connection with
The most important thing a mother can do to teach her daughter how to
‘make sense out of the world’ is to spend time bonding with her daughter –
especially at an early age.
Mothers are ROLE models for their daughters.
A mother’s beliefs and behaviors influence her daughter’s thoughts and
actions – having more power and influence than any other factor in her life.
Three important things a mother can do for her daughter are…
-Empower her with confidence and self belief
-Believe in the relationship she and her daughter share
-Connect with her daughter
© Life is so busy – I have trouble finding time to connect with my daughter.
Regardless of your daughter’s age – finding time to connect with her can
be a challenge. Three social trends that affect connecting:
¨the economy – more hours at work – less time to connect
¨over-scheduling – parents and children are overly involved – leaving little
time to connect with each other
¨technology – cell phones and social media have taken the place of real
-Invest time – commit to ten minutes of uninterrupted time a day to spend
with your daughter.
-Start a mother daughter connection tradition – choose an activity you both
enjoy and do it regularly.
–Make connecting with your daughter a priority.
© My daughter seems to struggle with life’s stresses. How can I help her
-Be a positive role model. Manage stress in your own life.
-Help her feel competent and confident. Girls who feel competent and
confident can cope with life’s stresses better than those who do not.
-Address her stress. Don’t be afraid to ask her directly how she feels or
what she needs from you.
-Teach her to self advocate by recognizing her feelings and expressing
© My daughter seems to have little belief in herself. How can I help her to
feel more confident?
-Teach her to empower herself from within by focusing on inner qualities
not external sources.
-Encourage her to recognize and appreciate her gifts and talents.
-Help her to become strong, feel good about who she is and draw upon her
inner sources by…
1. Getting to know herself well
2. Thinking of herself as capable
3. Believing that she is able to measure up to other’s expectations
© When I try to talk with my daughter about drugs and alcohol she seems
uninterested and tunes me out. How can I communicate effectively with
When it comes to dangerous substances don’t assume your daughter
knows where you stand. She may act bored or like she isn’t listening but
she is hearing you…so keep talking. Your opinion about drugs, alcohol and
risky sexual behavior matter significantly when it comes to the choices your
daughter will make.
-set time aside to talk in a distraction free environment
-set clear rules and include the consequences if rules are not followed
-stay involved in her life and get to know her friends
-allow her time to voice her opinion and share her feelings
-be positive but firm
© There are so many mixed messages out there. How can I help my
daughter feel good about her body and abilities?
-Feel positive about your body. Your daughter looks to you for advice on
-Promote a healthy body image by teaching your daughter to appreciate
her body for what it does – not how it looks.
-Teach your daughter to focus on inner qualities not outward appearance.
-Help your daughter understand that happiness is cultivated by accepting
herself, appreciating her abilities and discovering her inner strengths.
Vikki Carrel is an author, speaker and founder of The Empowerment
To schedule a “Mother Daughter Connection” presentation for your school
or girl’s group, visit Vikki’s website: www.vikkicarrel.com