Divorce affects us all, whether it’s something that directly affects our home, or has touched a family member or friend. Divorce can be bitter and damaging, but can it be handled intelligently.
Studio 5 Relationship Coach Matt Townsend gives advice on how to navigate a divorce in a smarter manner.
Allow Your Children To Remain Innocent
· Don’t make your relationship problems, their problems.
· Remember that they can love both of you, even if you can’t.
· Discuss your problems with your spouse, not through the children.
· How you talk about the other parent in front of the child will show them that that they are safe to love both of you.
· You will always lose, when they are forced to choose.
Don’t Let Your Emotion Drive Your Divorce
· No settlement is perfect and if you’re emotion is the judge, than no settlement could ever be perfect.
· Emotion Hijacks meaning and people. Don’t let your lowest self, govern your biggest decisions.
· motion may be great for attorneys, but very bad for your ability to move on.
Focus Your Attention on the Intangibles as Much as the Tangibles
· Many times the most important things in our lives are intangible (like connections, memories and love) and yet much of what we worry about in a divorce are the tangible (schedule, child support and legal decisions).
· Remember in the end the intangibles don’t just appear, they must be focused on. Simply having more “time” with your children, doesn’t mean you will have more connection, unless you focus on it.
· Your settlement and decree really only create the space to build the intangibles.
· Your choices that you model during the divorce will be the best teaching moments for your family. If you can choose to show character and integrity while divorcing (both intangibles) you’ll be more trusted throughout the divorce by all who are involved.
For more information, visit Matt online where you can also find details for his latest date night.
Date Night
“The Art of Positive Relating”
August 24, 2012 at 7pm
www.datenightswithmatt.com
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