Emotional labor can drain you.
To the mom who feels exhausted by 8 a.m., we see you. Despite getting the recommended seven to nine hours of sleep, you might still wake up feeling tired.
Studio 5 Parenting Contributor Heather Johnson explained that this exhaustion may stem from emotional labor rather than physical tasks.
“Emotional labor is when we’re managing and regulating our own emotions so that we can help meet the expectations or the hopes of other people,” said Heather. This includes anticipating needs, resolving conflicts, and providing emotional support to family members.
Examples of Emotional Labor
Heather provided several examples of emotional labor:
- Managing Children’s Conflicts: When your children argue, you step in to mediate and ensure harmony.
- Planning and Anticipation: Thinking through the logistics of family vacations, birthdays, and other events.
- Emotional Support: Offering extra hugs and time to children who are struggling.
“This is what we’re doing all day, all night, all the time,” Heather emphasized. Even when physical tasks like laundry and cooking are done, the emotional labor continues.
Emotional Labor and Gender
While emotional labor affects everyone, Heather noted that women often bear a larger share due to societal expectations. “Women tend to be more emotional and take on more of those responsibilities,” she explained. However, it’s important to recognize that men are not exempt from emotional labor.
Managing Emotional Labor
Heather offered several strategies for managing emotional labor effectively:
- Awareness
Recognize that emotional labor might be contributing to your exhaustion. “We need to be aware and recognize that this might be something that’s making us a little bit tired or overwhelmed,” Heather advised.
- Communication
Don’t assume others understand the emotional work you’re doing. “We can say, ‘Hey, I’ve got all these things on my mind,'” Heather suggested. Communicate your needs and ask for help.
- Avoid Gatekeeping Information
Share information openly with family members. “Take all the information you have and put it in a very public place,” Heather recommended. So, if one of your kids has a project due and a big soccer game on Friday, and they also have friend drama, make sure your spouse is informed. This allows them to step up and help.
- Empower Emotional Intelligence
Teach your children to manage their own emotions. “The more we put energy into teaching our children how to manage their own emotions, the more we don’t have to do it,” Heather explained.
- Don’t Make It About You
Remember that your worth is not tied to the emotional labor you perform. “We’re not worth less because there is this work to do or because one of your kids is struggling,” Heather reminded us.
To contact Heather for counseling, email blog.familyvolley@gmail.com, or visit www.familyvolley.blogspot.com
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