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Tuck your teen into bed. Connect with teens in 4 ways by creating ‘golden moments’

Sometimes it’s hard to connect with teens.

When kids are younger, they’re snuggly and touchy. Magical moments are sweet and happening all the time. You’re reading stories with them at bedtime, and special moments happen more naturally.

Saren Eyre Loosli, creator of the online community Power of Families, encouraged parents to connect with teens and create ‘golden moments’ with them, too.

 

“Every kind of positive, happy, productive thing you do for a child or any family member is a drop in this bucket of awesome. The goal is to fill up that bucket by the time they leave home so that they know how loved, admired, and appreciated they are.” – Rebecca Fredrick

With teenagers, Saren believes you have to be a little more intentional about finding golden moments. Teenagers are often more prickly. They have their own agenda and want to separate themselves from you. It’s a natural part of human development, but they need that connection still.

“Sometimes the things that they love are not the things we naturally love,” Saren explained, “And sometimes when you want to give them a hug and they don’t want to, it can be easy to be like, ‘Oh, it’s a little awkward.’ You have to really be intentional and willing to say, ‘This is hard, but it’s right. I’m going to do it. I know it’s for the good of the relationship and the connection.’”

Practical Ways to Create Golden Moments

Prioritize Tuck-In Time

Whether it’s a two-year-old or a 14-year-old, tuck-in time is essential. It’s about dropping whatever you’re doing for five minutes, walking into their room, and just saying, “Hey. Hope you had a good day. I love you.” Give them a kiss on the forehead. Saren also encouraged parents to tell them one thing you noticed about them that day.

Show Excitement and Respect

Your kids are going to be interested in things you’re not necessarily interested in. But Saren said you connect with teens by letting them be your teacher. Let them show you something that they’re excited about. It will be so meaningful to them.

Talk Less, Touch More

Sometimes, it’s better to walk into their room, not say anything, put your arm around them, and just hug them and hold them close. Sometimes they’re prickly, but they’ll soften after a second. Then sometimes, they’ll open up and talk. Saren believes that touch is what really brings in those moments that actually make them want to open up.

The Power of One-on-One Trips

Saren said that taking each of your kids on a one-on-one trip can be a powerful way to connect with teens. It’s about spending time saying, “You plan the agenda, we’ll do it.” It’s about having that time on an airplane or in a car, doing cool activities together, and creating touchpoint memories that you can go back to all the time.


For more suggestions and resources, visit poweroffamilies.com. It’s a great resource for parents of all ages and stages.

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