Understanding and Supporting Pregnancy Loss

Through an interview I did on my blog with three women who have
experienced pregnancy loss, I realized that I had so much to learn even
someone who is very involved in the infertility community. I hope to pass
what I learned onto you to increase sensitivity towards those who have
suffered from pregnancy loss and miscarriages.

Things to avoid:

· “It was for the best.”

· “There was probably something wrong with the baby anyway.”

· “You can have another baby.”

· “You already have another child, can’t you just be thankful for that
blessing.”

· “When are you going to try for another one?”

· Don’t rank tragedy

· Don’t compare

· Don’t judge grief

Things to DO:

· Do remember. It’s for this reason I design necklaces for mothers who
have experienced pregnancy loss, or infertility. My hope is to provide a way
for them to know someone cares, and someone remembers.

· Do use the right terminology: Ask you loved one in a sincere manner
what terminology you they would like you to use. Some women prefer the
“pregnancy loss” over “infant loss” or “miscarriage”–the medical term for
when a pregnancy ends before 20 weeks. Not all those who have
experienced pregnancy loss consider themselves “infertile.”

· Realize that these couples feel deeply about the baby they were once
carrying and many consider the baby part of their family and mourn the
loss just as they would the death of a family member.

· Use the appropriate and sensitive phrase: “I am so sorry for your loss.”