A Mother’s Love

Friends of Studio 5 share ways they felt their mother’s love.

Post your memory on Instagram with the hashtag #showlove.

At bedtime, my boys and I exchange I love you and argue about who loves each other most. I tell my boys that they will not understand how much I love them until they are parents. I always knew that my mother loved me but I didn’t fathom how much until I had my first child. Now I realize my mom showed me she loved me in many ways, most of them unseen. I think of the countless hours spent preparing meals, doing laundry, cleaning, driving, ironing, grocery shopping, helping in school, etc. But even more than that I realize she had me in her heart and thoughts constantly. She put her dreams aside to help us accomplish ours. –Holly Willard

I knew my mother loved me because she put me & my siblings before herself in all that she did. My mother became a single mom when I was just 5 years old…with a brand new baby and 4 kids under 5 I can’t imagine the struggles she went through. She always worked so hard, and did everything on her own. She did it all for me and my siblings. She never gave up, and always stayed positive. We grew up with very very little when it came to material things, but we had so much when it came to love & support from a mom who never thought of herself and kept going for her children. To this day my mom is still so selfless & puts us and her grandchildren before all else. –Kara Allen

I have the most amazing mother. She is one of the most talented people I know. She is amazing at any homemaking skill you can name, (cooking, cleaning, organization, decorating, etc). Probably the one thing that I am thankful my mom had the patience to teach me was to allow me to create along the side of her. She is an amazing watercolor artist and always allowed me to watercolor next to her. Regardless of the mess, creativity was very important in our home. I am so grateful that she allowed me to take part in her creative skills. She is the reason I am who I am. She is the reason I am creative, because she took the time to sit down with me and be creative along side with her. When we weren’t creating, we were decorating together. She loved to let me shop for beautiful things for our home. Today I still visit some of those same places to beautify my home! I hope to pass that along to my children.–Mandy Douglass

During my high school days, let’s just say my bedroom could have been featured on an episode of Hoarders. I was a typical high school kid and had no time to fit mundane things like hanging up clothes into my busy social calendar. There even was a time my dad threated to lock me out of my room if I didn’t keep it clean :). There were quite a few times during those years, when I would come home from school or work and find that my mom had spent several hours (I am sure it took her at least that long) cleaning and straightening my room. When I would walk into my newly cleaned and organized room, I always felt love from my mom.

P.S. I keep a perfectly spotless house now!–Jenn Heslop

I was a “bed wetter” as a kid. I know, big surprise right!? Many nights my ma would wake me, so she could get me into some dry clothes and change the bedding. Not once did she ever make me feel shame or embarrassment. That goes for both my parents. Even at a young age, I knew it was probably the last thing they wanted to deal with in the middle of the night, but I never got that feeling. As weird as it sounds, I cherish that. My ma was VERY patient with me. It’s no wonder why she went gray at a young age. –Frankie Corrigan

So how do I know my mom loved me? Haha – I could write a thick book. But one thing I remember during my three years in high school. I always had to get up very very early (4:30 or so usually) in the morning because I needed to get ready and usually needed to be at the school very early for practices and meetings and such for all the things I was involved in (like cheerleading, dance team, seminary council, etc.).

Anyway no matter how early I was up my mom always had a little bowl of cut up apples or oranges sitting on my dressing table when I got out of the shower that I could eat when I got ready. I usually returned the bowls to the kitchen at the end of the week (haha being a teenager keeping bowls for a week in my room :)) and so when I see a little stack of bowls it brings back the memory. (And to top it off she would usually have a hot breakfast ready for me right before I left (usually french toast – my favorite). I always love her for that – even though it was so early in the morning. She was there at every crossroads for me :)) –Alisa Bangerter

I love this topic, especially right now as I just helped move my mom into a retirement home. I’ve thought a lot about how I know my mother loves me….I watch and listen to some of the other residents at The Pioneer Valley Lodge and feel so bad for them and their kids. They complain about how their kids made them move, forced them, didn’t give them a choice. Some are so miserable. Then there’s my mom. She is so pleasant! She helped make the decision to move….even though she didn’t want to she knew it was time. She is being so positive and happy. She keeps a smile on her face and is dealing with the changes best she can. She even gave me her car keys and told me to sell her cars. She’s helping me with this difficult transition in her life…she’s helping me do the ‘hard thing’ of moving her out of the house of 45 years where she raised her 6 kids. She’s teaching me again that we can all do hard things. She’s always helped me through the hard things in my life; she didn’t take them away. She helped me through them. Now she’s allowing me to help her. That’s how I know she loves me. –Laura Wolford

My mother was always there. Did she give up dreams of a career or time with girl friends? I have no idea. It was NEVER an issue. She was ALWAYS there. She was there in the morning when we got up and she always had breakfast ready for us. She was always there when we got home from school. She was always there at night to make dinner and to say prayers with us and put us to bed. She was always there. It was such a powerful thing that I actually remember the one and only day that she wasn’t there when I got home from school. It only happened once, so I remember. I came home…. I was probably 7 or 8. My big brother was home. I’m sure my mom had something very important to do and knew that I would be perfectly fine with my brother for a little while, but I was devastated. I remember going into her room and laying on her bed and waiting for her. I wouldn’t get up until SHE personally came and got me. I know women try to justify their choices by saying that they spend “quality” time with their children. But you can’t have quality if you don’t have some quantity. And some things you just can’t plan. You have to BE THERE at the cross-roads. Even if 99% of the time is mundane. I know my mother loved me because she was always there. –Raili Nieznanski

We moved around a lot as a kid and everywhere we went, one of the very first things my Mom would do was take me to the library and get a library card. She always took me to the library as well so I could have a pile of books to read. I am now a librarian probably because of that love of books and she actually works for the library too as a sub. She is 82 years old. I know my Mom loves me because she supported my love of books (actually created it- which to me is a great gift of love). –Trish Hull

One of the ways my mother showed her love was through things she MADE for us. It could be a favorite meal, a requested Halloween costume, a fancy new Christmas dress, or a batch of homemade cookies to greet us after school. She put time and love into everything she made. I try to think of that when showing love to my own children now. –Natalie Shirley

My mom taught us the ABC’s in sign language and we also used the ASL sign “I Love You” as kind of a secret message. It was one of those things as a kid that if we were out in a group of people she could tell us “I Love you” in code without anyone else really know what was going on. I remember pictures floating around of my brother and I doing our sign back to our mom. The grandkids do it now too and they have added their own twists to it to make it even more of secret code message for, “My mom loves me.” My mom always believed in me. Always. There is no way I would be doing what I am today without her telling me I could. –Karen Eddington

I know my mother loved me because she let me create. I would steal her tape and scissors. I would make HUGE messes. I would get marker and paint on the dining room table. I used up all of her supplies. I would neglect my chores and sneak off to make something. And through it all, she praised me for my creativity instead of getting after me. My mother loved me because she encouraged and nurtured my talents. –Stacy Risenmay

So so so many things! But something quick would be:
“She never put a raisin where a chocolate chip should be.”
My mom loved raisin cookies, raisin bread, etc…YUCK!
She always made two batches of everything and would make mine with chocolate chips.
So, I had homemade cinnamon rolls with chocolate chips,
I had zucchini chocolate-chip bread, oatmeal chocolate chip cookies…
She would do the same with onions. I hated onions…
So she’d make two batches of salads, casseroles, etc…
One WITH onions for everyone else, one without for me. –Amy Iverson

Okay, so I have a pretty amazing Mom who is the most selfless and strongest woman I have ever known. My Dad passed away when I was just a baby and my Mom, at 29 years old was left to care for 4 small children. Her entire life has been dedicated to raising us kids playing both roles of the parent. She sacrificed everything to provide for us…all on her own. Never did she complain that times were tough but as a parent myself now, I look back and wonder how she ever did it. I know it was because she loved each of her kids so much and would have done anything to care for us. She still to this day serves not only her children but to all who know her. Her selfless acts of service have always made me feel so loved by my Mom. I’m pretty sure that once she gets to heaven, she is going to run the place. –Aimee Krey

Thinking back I had a most idyllic childhood. My Mom was all about creating wonderful memories for us. We went strawberry picking, we planted a garden at the Stake Farm where we flew our family flag, the “Parker Pippies” (I don’t know what that meant, except maybe crazy children) we would vacation on the Oregon coast all carrying our monogrammed ( 70s style ) sailor duffle bags. My Mom went through a sound of music phase and we all sang around her playing the guitar in matching clothes. The only thing missing was marionettes. She would come into our room to say good night and tell us stories as the Honorable Chinese Mother. We loved that. Always baking some kind of wonderful treat that would be waiting for us after school. Hot cocoa almost everyday with a huge marshmallow floating in it. After all I grew up in the rainy northwest. Lighting candles all the time like everything was a special occasion.

Always adding the extra touch to show that she cared and loved us! –Amy Richardson

I had just given birth to our 4th child a few days before. I had complications with this birth, mostly because my newborn was 11 lbs when she was born. Everything seemed to be going well for a day or two once I was back home from the hospital, getting lots of much needed rest. After a few days things started to go wrong. I had already had 3 other babies so I had a pretty good idea of what my body would be doing during this time, but something was not right.

I knew it but I couldn’t explain what was wrong in a logical or convincing manner to my husband or to the doctor on the phone. I had been guilty of being a bit of a “drama queen” in the past so it’s no wonder that no one took me seriously. But I knew something was wrong and I knew I needed to get to the hospital so I called my mom and said “Don’t ask any questions, just get over here and go with me to the hospital.”

I told her I was driving myself to the hospital. She did exactly what I had asked and didn’t give me any resistance. She came over immediately and the 3 of us – my 2 day old baby, me and my mom went to the hospital. After running a few tests, I was told that I had toxic shock syndrome and would have been dead within 48 hours if I hadn’t come in when I did.

They admitted me immediately, my mom took my baby home and cared for her for a few days while I was hospitalized. I have never forgotten how much I loved my mom for that one simple but important act, of not asking questions, or giving me any advice or judging me in any way. Just doing exactly what I needed her to do, when I needed it the most. That is pure motherly love at its finest! I’ve tried to do that very same thing for my children, especially now that they are grown. –Sheryl McGlochlin

. Growing up, I had a disability (narcolepsy) that severely impacted my ability to do what many consider to be basic tasks. Unfortunately, after seeing many doctors and being left without any answers (I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 25), I simply had to cope with my “normal.” There is absolutely no way I could have done this without my mother’s daily support. Here are a few examples:

· Reading: Without medication, reading can be one of the quickest things to trigger a sleep attack, so getting through my text books and studying was a challenge, to say the least. To help, my mom would stay up until the wee hours reading and studying with me. We’d read aloud, taking turns reading the pages, until the article/chapter was complete. Then she’d test me on the subject matter to make sure I retained the information. I cannot count the number of hours she spent doing this with me.

· Studying/Memory: Prepping for exams, whether they were they were as major as the ACT and AP tests or the basic weekly quizzes, was another challenge. You see, Narcolepsy impacts your memory (due to the immense sleep deprivation). To work around the obvious obstacle I had in this area, my mom developed numerous mnemonic devices to help me remember things. She’s very clever and was a wiz at coming up with these things. “The capital of Belgium is Brussels, because when you eat brussel sprouts, you Belgium.” 😉 Silly things, to some, but they made the difference between passing and failing for me. And I still remember many of them today, which is remarkable.

· Rest: I took an hour nap EVERY day after school. Without fail. There were some days when I couldn’t even make it from my car to the couch before collapsing. My mom never questioned this or prodded me to get up and do more. She always let me rest. Now, as an adult, I look back on this with great appreciation for her patience. If it were me, I’d see this sleepy kid before me as lazy. I would likely nag them to get up and get going. She never made me feel this way. She only recognized and supported my overwhelming need for sleep.

This list goes on, but I’m sure you get the idea. I was struggling with an invasive auto immune illness that I didn’t know or understand. I’m 100% positive that it’s because of my mom’s unending support and time consuming efforts that I made it to high school graduation (something many narcoleptics don’t do, even with medication). Not only that, I graduated as our valedictorian and went on to receive a presidential scholarship to college. My schooling success lead to my career success. And my career success has helped in my overall life balance and happiness. On my own, these things would not have happened. It’s as simple as that. –Megan Hoeppner

“Success comes in CANS not Can’ts” is my mom’s favorite motto and one she lives by – even at 84 years old. She often reminds me, “There’s no time to sit around and have a pity party.” She has always insisted on accountability and not avoidance. Mom taught me that the best way to move past negatives and avoid regrets in my life was to take action and get going because nothing gets accomplished by standing still.

I remember the wisdom she shared with me when I was in the 8th grade about the power of choices. I was self-involved and having an ‘adolescent moment’ after losing cheerleader and realizing the guy I liked was in love with my best friend. My attitude was negative and my words and actions were volatile. Mom said to me, “Life is not about being a cheerleader or the most popular. Be the girl that is kind and friendly to everyone and can look her friend’s in the eye 20 years from now and have no regrets about her choices or her character.” That statement was profound and empowering. It taught me the importance of owning my choices, accountability and focusing on what really matters in life.

It’s easy to love and adore our children when they are making good choices, but do we love them when they aren’t making the ‘good’ choice? My mom helped me learn to navigate my way through disappointment and failure. She taught me to recognize what I can control and to know when to ‘let go’. I know my mom loves me for me – in the best and worst of times. That has made all the difference!! –Vikki Carrel

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