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Change your mind about your marriage. 4 questions that will improve how you think about it

When you change your mind about with you think about your marriage.

One of the best things you can do for your marriage, is to change your mind. Not about the marriage, but what you THINK about your marriage.

Studio 5 Marriage & Family Contributor Dr. Liz Hale shares that one of the most effective ways to improve your marriage is not by altering your spouse, but by altering your mindset.


How to Change Your Mind About Your Marriage and Improve the Relationship

Mind Over Marriage

According to Liz, the key to fostering a healthy and fulfilling marriage lies in reshaping your thoughts about the relationship itself. She emphasizes that modifying your perspective can lead to significant changes in your relationship. Rather than focusing on the marriage itself, the shift is about how you perceive your marriage.

The Impact of Perspective

Liz shares a fascinating study from a university in New York. It investigated the connection between partner perception and happiness within a marriage. What emerged was a revealing pattern: the happiest couples were those who rated their partners more positively than themselves. This perception shift created an environment of mutual appreciation and contentment.

The Role of Growth Mindset

Growth mindset, a term coined by researcher Carol Dweck, plays a vital role in transforming marriages. Liz elaborates that a growth mindset means being open to the idea that your perspective can change. By embracing this mindset, you create space for personal growth, both individually and as a couple. This approach fosters optimism and adaptability within the marriage.

Questions to Reflect On

Liz shares four thought-provoking questions that help evaluate and reshape our thought patterns:

  1. What Do I Think About My Partner?: The thoughts you have about your spouse shape your feelings, behaviors, and overall relationship quality. Focusing on positive attributes can lead to a more harmonious partnership.
  2. What Do I Think About My Partner’s Emotions?: How you perceive your partner’s emotions can influence your interactions. Viewing your partner’s feelings with understanding and empathy can enhance communication.
  3. What Do I Think About My Responses?: Your internal dialogue affects your reactions and responses to your partner. Pausing and responding thoughtfully, rather than impulsively, can improve communication and emotional connection.
  4. What Do I Believe Is the Purpose of Marriage?: Understanding the purpose of marriage can guide your actions and priorities. Placing love and personal growth at the forefront can elevate your marriage.

Embrace the Journey

Liz encourages us to acknowledge that a healthy “we” starts with a healthy “me.” By cultivating a positive self-image and reshaping our thoughts, we can transform our marriages. Remember, changing your mind can change your relationship.

Liz recommends the book “Us in Mind” by Ted Lowe. This enlightening conversation reminds us that by changing our thoughts, we can unlock the potential for a more fulfilling and joyful marital journey.

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